I made a couple of attempts during high school, Mostly while drunk. I never really quit hitting the bottle and the suicide urges return quite frequently. Last month I was hospitalized after another attempt. My attitude was Damn It! I can't even do that right. Ever since my meds were adjusted and I am still no better off. Doe the failed attempt ever cause you to try harder. Survivor was not what I wanted. Now the new plans are swirling through my head. Survival is not my option. Perhaps it is someone else's.