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I guess I chose right.

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#1
I almost went through with it. My dad has a gun. I know exactly where he keeps it. I guess he never guessed his own daughter was suicidal. No one he knew could possibly that screwed up. I stared at that gun for an hour. My finger was on the trigger. Im not completely sure what stopped me.



As stupid as it may sound... I think my dog saved my life. I got a new puppy 4 monthes ago. She is completely dependent on me. I guess I thought I couldnt just leave her. What kind of person did that make me. Or maybe I was just so desperate to find a reason to live that I chose that as my excuse. I just kept thinking that maybe everyone would feel like it was their fault. Like maybe if they had just done something differently I would still be alive. I didnt want them to live with that. I dont know. What I do know is that I put the gun away and Im still alive. Right now Im just taking each day as it comes. And though most of you might not want to hear this. Im glad Im still here. And I have been tempted everyday since to go get that gun. But Ive never done. Im just holding on to the thought that somedady everything might work out. And I hope it does. So even though you have heard it a million times. I guess Im trying to say Dont do it. Your more special than you think. And you dont deserve to go out before your time. Especially not at your own doing. You never know what impact you could make later.
 

Deepest_Regret

Well-Known Member
#2
Im glad you stopped and found some meaning to hold onto. Life brings new challenges and reasons for you to live all the time, everyone goes through times in their life where they feel bad and at the moment your just having it worse than others.

Hold out for awhile longer and come to realise the good in the world, hopefully that will be enough to rekindle your passion for life and steer your thoughts away from suicide.
 
#3
Chelsea, that is wonderful to hear, that you managed to avoid a terrible thing.
I hope you post more, you seem to be a very caring person, I'd like to see more posts from you.

Maybe you would like to talk about what got you into a sucidal mood in the first place? Maybe us here on SF can help you.


:hug:

Hope to hear from you soon
 

Casey.

Well-Known Member
#4
You sound like a very intellegent person, and I'm not going to annoy you with the "*Ehugs* and "its going to be kk".
You seem like you know much better than that.
The thing is, that your dog is not a stupid reason to live, and you were probably not just looking for an excuse. Even if you were, it was a good decision not to kill yourself. Do you have siblings or young family members that visit? Perhaps you could suggest to your father to get the gun locked up, saying that your worried about "(family member)" getting a hold of it, just so the temptation fades.
Things ARE going to get better, no matter how cliche that sounds.
Take care of yourself.
Feel better.
Ash
 
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