I almost went through with it. My dad has a gun. I know exactly where he keeps it. I guess he never guessed his own daughter was suicidal. No one he knew could possibly that screwed up. I stared at that gun for an hour. My finger was on the trigger. Im not completely sure what stopped me. As stupid as it may sound... I think my dog saved my life. I got a new puppy 4 monthes ago. She is completely dependent on me. I guess I thought I couldnt just leave her. What kind of person did that make me. Or maybe I was just so desperate to find a reason to live that I chose that as my excuse. I just kept thinking that maybe everyone would feel like it was their fault. Like maybe if they had just done something differently I would still be alive. I didnt want them to live with that. I dont know. What I do know is that I put the gun away and Im still alive. Right now Im just taking each day as it comes. And though most of you might not want to hear this. Im glad Im still here. And I have been tempted everyday since to go get that gun. But Ive never done. Im just holding on to the thought that somedady everything might work out. And I hope it does. So even though you have heard it a million times. I guess Im trying to say Dont do it. Your more special than you think. And you dont deserve to go out before your time. Especially not at your own doing. You never know what impact you could make later.