i guess i didnt really formally introduce myself...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Epical Taylz, May 3, 2008.

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  1. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    my name is Taylor, im suicidal
    my parents dont trust me anymore
    because they found out about my cutting

    i need help
    i want to end my life,,,
    this is why

    Im the second child born
    which autimatically means that i was the one who didnt
    get any attention. my mom would send me in my room
    and tell me to take a nap so that she could breast feed
    my sister...im jealous to this day

    im different
    people make fun of me in school
    because of the music that i like
    peopel found out i cut
    and school has never been the same
    im considering dropping out..

    i am not single
    i have a boyfriend named kurtis
    he isnt the one that i truly want.
    but right now hes all that i have
    and right now hes all that i want

    i have a secret lover
    his name is Jason
    we love eachother
    but we can never be,,ever
    my parents wont allow it
    and we live too far to keep
    it a secret...people will find out

    i have one best friend
    her name is rachel
    she likes Jason...
    rachel is also suicidal
    and she has a thing on this site
    sometimes i hate her
    other times i love her to death

    i started cutting because of Max
    he was my obsession and my reason for living
    part of me believes that he still is
    and i havnt fully moved on

    i cut once a week
    sometimes for meaning
    other times because i wanna feel
    the blood...

    i have ODed before,
    i cant say that i dont like it
    soemtimes it feels good

    I drink :]
    i love alchohol and i
    can only have it when my parents
    and my sister
    arent home

    i have smoked before
    i dont love it
    but i dont hate it

    i think i was raped:sad:
    i got drunk with a friend
    and woke up without a shirt on
    and my friend was gone

    I am 14
    I am a girl
    I am suicidal
    That was my story :/
  2. Broken Wings

    Broken Wings Well-Known Member

    Hey Taylor.
    I've never really introduced myself here either.... I should.

    Have you ever told anyone about the rape? Are you on meds/do you have a counslelor/therapist?

    I hope you're doing well tonight.

    Good luck.
  3. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i havnt told anyone except my boyfriend about the rape
    he didnt fully believe me

    i do have a counsler, i dont believe that she really cares
    she never asks about the cutting, and my parents told her
    she knows...

    she hasnt perscribed me to any medication
    although i have sneaked some of Rachel's before
  4. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    what does your parents sayed when they find out about your si?
  5. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    my dad had no comment
    my mom thinks that its a cry for attention...
    she yelled at me and said if she finds any more
    cuts on me that shell send me to a hospital..
    she gives me body checks now :/
  6. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    sneaking your friends meds.. it's not good.
    i mean, it may not be what you need, and you codl get sick.

    the whole part.. well you should really tell someone more then your boyfriend.
    it's something that you really shouldn't keep to yourself.

    i wish you luck. SI is a hard habbit to break, but it's possible

    PM-if you need to
  7. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    haha yeah i know it could make me sick [[[sorry that i snuck yours]]]

    and yeah ik its hard to break, and youre such a hypocrit !!

    i wish you luck too :p
  8. Broken Wings

    Broken Wings Well-Known Member

    If you don't think your Doc is doing enough, or you and her don't 'click', you should try to get someone else, because there are some really great therapists out there, who really want to help. And not every therapist is right for everyone.

    Taking your friend's meds... it won't help, not only because of what others have said, but also because you need to be on the meds continuously for a couple weeks for them to help, but also because your friend needs the meds, and has to pay for them.

    Good luck.
  9. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    Parents sometimes doesnt know how to deal with Si, have you ever tryed to sit and talk to them? if they think its to seek for attention, tell them you need attetion because you feel very bad and you truly need someone to be there for you, to understand you, to care about you.
    Your friend´s meds wont help you as you dont´t know the side effects it make cause. and they are right if you dont feel confortable with your dock you should look for a new one untill you find the one you feel that can help you!
  10. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Hi, welcome. My parents never understood why I started cutting. They still don't. They think I've stopped too.. but that's another story.

    With your counsellor.. maybe she doesn't want to bring it up with you... maybe she wants *you* to bring it up with her. Some counsellors are like that. Also as far as I know counsellors can't prescribe medication - they haven't any medical training. Unless counsellors are different where you are...

  11. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    to everyone who responded about my friends meds: i didnt know that it only worked if
    you used it continuously, thank you for the update.
    as for the counsler: i cant suggest a new one because my mom said for me to try it out
    as for the cutting: i have talked to my parents about it several times and they still didnt get why i told people. i mean i guess i get it for attention but also because i want someone to tell people bout it so i can get help
    as for the bringing it up: my counsler talks to damn much that i can never get a word in edgewhise
    and the meds: where i go, the doctor is right there in the building so they can perscribe it there.
  12. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    what about your sister? have you tried to talk to her? ask her for help?
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