i guess i underdosed

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by underdosed, May 19, 2007.

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  1. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    i just didnt take enough. i planned for a week and i cleaned my room and i made a will and i put together piles of my favorite things for my friends. all that planning and my mom finds me 15 min from death. my liver was SO CLOSE to shutting down and i was almost ok when she called the f***ing ambulance. after making me puke everything up, i had to be in the stupid psych hospital for 2 weeks talking about my feelings to total strangers in a large group. so now im at home, being watched like a hawk. i have to live now. i wish i hadnt underdosed. i decided to poison myself so i wouldnt look to gross for my mom to find me. it wasnt permanent enough and now im stuck here.
     
  2. slim_to_none

    slim_to_none Well-Known Member

    im sorry hun.
    i know it hurts to fail.
    (and i know im a hypocrite saying this).
    but you never know, this could be for the good of things.
    there are probably a lot of things for you to live for.
    and surviving might mean that you can achieve things.
    maybe you were meant to survive to help others.

    i dont know. i dont know you. but i understand your pain. and i understand how much it hurts.

    pm if you need.
    take care.
    t.
    xx.
     
  3. Feltthepeace

    Feltthepeace Member

    I get that your in total pain and something isnt working. I also get that you want to die in a big way. I dont want to minimize or invalidate your stuff but I feel your young and you still may have time to get it together. Just wondering what would happen if you dropped the mask and smile in your quote? What would be the worst thing that could happen if you said **** it to the mask as powefully as you want to say F**** it to life? Do have issues with the family? I hope you hold on hon.
     
  4. ProperlyLast

    ProperlyLast Active Member

    I've failed many times, but always on my own. I always quit. I really wish I could talk to someone like you. I don't understand this. I think it takes someone like us to understand. I'm sorry you failed, because that is the greatest fear I have in suicide, becoming something less than I am instead of just dead. Like in a coma, or brain damaged.
    Though I must also tell you I am happy you failed. Maybe you have good reason to die, maybe it's the only choice. But maybe not. I'm not going to tell you what you should do, unless I have precedent to do so. I just have this belief, that is those who are truly commited to dying, who are the ones who should most live. We are people so truthful in our existance, that we are willing to end it, to forsake that which tries to destroy us by taking what we love, rather than us ourselves. As if our death is the only way to save what we truly love. Anyone on this level, or just wants to talk;
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 12, 2016
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