I guess I'm not a very good person

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Just-me, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. Just-me

    Just-me Account Closed

    I've only been in one serious relationship, and I feel that it damaged me somewhat, psychologically. It was years ago, and I have not had sex since then. I no longer seek a relationship, and am fairly confident I will go the rest of my life without one. I now hate women. There is nothing about their moody, irrationality, heartless or just plain stupid ways that I can find attractive. Yet I still have my male urges. More and more as time continues to go by I have progressively indulged myself in deviant or immoral fantasies. I will not go into details but suffice it to say I would probably be banned if I did. Not only that, but my thoughts are becoming even more perverse in unexpected ways, fetishes I did not know that I had are cropping up. The girls I fantasize about are becoming younger and younger as well. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not just another danger to society, or simply to myself.
     
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your honesty that took guts. I think it is pretty harsh to judge a whole group because of one bad realationship, but I have known women to do the same. I am sure your desires need to be met, but the fact the you indulge in sexually immoral thoughts and day dreams worries me. You can over come them with self-control, and I highly doubt that you are a sexual pervert by nature. It is when you indulge in thoughts, and allow your self to be pleasured by the idea that will lead to the next step. But it is all a process..
     
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Everything starts out as a thought, and then it becomes an act, and then it grows into a habit.The last stage is when it becomes who you are. Now if you were to squash these thoughts and rebuke them every time you have them. Your chances of avoiding becoming a sexual preditor are great,but you will find it is hard to do on your own. This can be fixed with faith,prayer and bible study. You know you are not a monster, and you can prevent it from happening. Control the flesh, and keep the truth in your mind at all times. You are a man who is made for a woman. Not animals, children or any other perversities. Do not allow the lying thoughts in your head to convince you otherwise, because truth be told they are not your thoughts at all. I hope this helps. Blessings..
     
  4. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Thoughts are thoughts. But if you feel the urges are that strong do not put yourself in situations where you may act upon these feelings. Male urges are very hard to control and deal with sometimes. It is our nature to want to procreate. The root of them is we all want to be loved. You can fill that hole with booze, drugs, one night stands, prostitutes, pornography; but you will always feel empty ( from my experience)

    So my advice is what caused your relationship to fail? Were you too needy? Where you too clingy? Did you not pay attention to her? Or did you get with them just because you didn't want to be alone. Not all women are the way you said they are and trust be I have been hurt by several dozen. You can't give up. You need to find the right one, but in order to do that you need to get over what is stopping you from achieving that. You need to do some serious soul searching. Nothing comes easy.

    Go get a hair cut and a new outfit and hit the town. Start working out. Whether you are fat or not doesn't matter. Physical activity will make you feel more confident and is surprising its effects on depression and your overall attractiveness. Talk to as many women as possible and don't get hurt if you get shut down. Don't put off friend signals but don't be a creep. With women it is all about timing. And the only way you can learn it is by trial and error. Don't get discouraged. I have been through lots of dry spells and it physically hurts me to wake up and be alone.

    Maybe you aren't the same way, but I think deep down you want a girl to love you but you feel either you don't deserve it or you will never find it. Just keep trying. Girls don't fall out of the sky in your lap. Everything worth having is worth fighting for.

    As for the urges, I won't throw god in your face, but just realize that being attracted to underage girls is not right or normal. If you think about it just focus on something else. Cut down on the porn if necessary. Remember a thought is a thought. Nothing more. Just don't entertain it.
     
  5. Just-me

    Just-me Account Closed

    Thanks for replies. I wasn't expecting a female to reply so positively and understanding like, I was afraid I was too blunt with what I said about women and that I would get some hate responses. It's not like I don't get along with women or anything, but just as a stereotype I do think of them like that. But there are lots of cool girls and I'm sure there's some out there that I could click with. It's just not that easy to "go get em tiger". Girls like confidence and I find it really hard to maintain that fake confident mask (because I don't have real confidence) unless I'm on drugs. Sometimes I can come off as really cool and initiate a conversation on the right path but then midway through the conversation when it's like "okay what do we talk about now?" I start to lose it, and I think my nervousness shows.

    As for my past relationship, I was in high school (22 now) and I began to feel more and more "behind" and isolated as I realized all of my friends had girlfriends, all these girls that are younger than me have fucked 3 different guys by now, so I didn't want to appear weird or anything. And I went hard for the first girl to smile at me basically. The first girl who I knew liked me just by the look in her eyes, I said to myself "Okay YOU are my target." It was totally out of the feeling of having a social obligation, to fit in. Yet I ended up feeling the need to make a real relationship out of it for some reason, even though I don't think the true connection was ever there, I tried to make myself believe that I loved her or something. I don't think I really know what love is.

    As for the underage girl thing, it depends, if you are considering underage meaning any girl under 18, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that one. There is nothing mentally wrong with a person wanting to fuck a fully developed girl that's been having her period for years. But I will admit my own fantasies are pushing it...
     
  6. Just-me

    Just-me Account Closed

    And for the record, I don't fantasize about fucking animals :p
     
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Laughs! Seeing I cannot read your mind I felt it made sense to throw all of that in there. :)
    I see the pattern in men finding it easier to deal with younger females because they are so naive to what a real man is. Not talking about you, but from my own experiences. If you want to have sex with 12 year old's I would have to disagree with you. 12 yrs old is when I had my first period, and there are records of girls having them younger. As far as having the confidence WOMEN want in a guy, this can be fixed with experience, and effort. If you want to be confident, learn who it is that you are, and who you want to be. Once you have this down you can share this confidently with anyone that you choose. Hope this helps. Blessings..