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i guess it's my fault

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Well-Known Member
WEll, I did it. I snooped around to get into my hubby's skype, trying to find his ex. He had changed his password to it to some giberish so it would be "deleted" but I reset the password. And I found her. Boy did I find her. She is everywhere on the internet. Photos and photos of her. The nightmare I have been living for years now has a face. And I don't know how I'm supposed to get over this. It's all my fault.
I wish I had never found her. =( I just want to die now. And he's at work now pissed off at me for sneaking into his skype. Won't even answer his phone and all i can do is cut. i'm so fucking stupid. =(
This must be very painful for you. Your husband may feel his privacy has been violated and is angry at you for that violation.

You must have felt a deep need to find more out about that women. I am unclear if he had an affair with her while he was with you or you just believe he still loves her.

Either way, it appears you are obsessed with your relationship. I think, if you can afford it, you need to separate for a couple of weeks. I believe you need to deal with your obsessive codependent behavior towards your marriage. Of course, with as little information I have about you, this could be way wrong. You will know by personal contemplation.

I do believe you need to be removed from the marriage for a few weeks in order for you to be able to focus on you and your thoughts. The separation would be for you to get centered in your thoughts, not as a means to punish your husband. He would need to know that.

You husband married you; that says allot. Yet, only you can determine if this is a healthy relationship or not. If you cannot let go of the past; if you do not believe he has ended his feelings for her and you cannot live with that fact; then maybe this is not the marriage for you.

This advice may not be valid. Only you can do some soul searching to determine truth.

Take care.


Active Member
I've been where you are. . .my ex was seeing another man. . I knew it. .I saw the text messages adn I wanted to know everything that was going on. . retrospectively I wish I had left it alone. . I ended the relationshiop. . but once the tooth paste is out of teh tube, it's hard to put it back in. . thing was I found out later that there really wan't much to it. . just alot of talk. . I think we both regret it now. .
it's a really difficult situation . . to know adn to want to know more. . then what??
my heart goes out to you. . .


Active Member
i feel so sad for you, we want the truth and when we find it we can give it back and it hurts and you just want to numb the emotional pain by cutting, and its temporary

does he know you cut?

through our bleeding we are one
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