Rarely throughout my life have ever considered suicide or really felt deeply depressed. But due to a very difficult relationship everyday is becoming a struggle for me. Because this relationship only helped reinforced many of the things that felt inside but always pushed aside which were that I'm not someone that will end up with a happy ending, with a family, or a partner that loves me. Right now most of my friends are getting married, having children, and I'm struggling to even date. I don't want to grow old only to end up dying alone. The only thing that keeps me going is is my family they know something is wrong with me just not what but I know they would devastated if I killed myself. I'm too ashamed to tell my family that I am feeling this way.