I had to let it out

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by black-dragon, Oct 26, 2008.

  1. black-dragon

    black-dragon Member

    Hi i'm extremely depressed at the moment so maybe talking about it will help. I've had eczema on my face for a number of years. Although its pretty much gone now (with the exception of slight itchyness now and then, nothing too bad), it has left my face full of small wrinkles and taken away it's youthfulness and elasticity. I'm 18, almost 19, but my skin would suit a 50 or 60 year old..although i don't get teased about it or anything, people tend to stay away from me and I only have 1 friend from primary school and we are getting more distant from each other all the time.

    It kills me that all my social problems come down to how horrible my face looks which is something that I can't change and don't see changing anytime soon. I've tried talking to a dermatologist about it, but he basically ignored me. I entioned it to another one, but he said it would go away eventually. It's been like this for years. I plan to go back as soon as I can to see if there's anything else he can do, but the waiting list is huge and I will have to wait a number of months to see him.

    I usually get extremely depressed after periods of feeling normal, as I just try not to look in the mirror and forget about it. But I always get reminded that it's there and then I spiral back into depression. At times it's gotten so bad that I just become incapable of doing anything. I've dropped out of school twice because I just couldn't handle the stress of constantly having to interact with people face to face.

    I've thought about suicide so many times, but I always back out of it because I don't have a strong enough will and I don't want my parents to suffer. But lately I just feel so bad I don't know. I'm currently going through another depression phase, but this one has been the worst one yet. I've been in tears constantly for the past few days. My family doesn't know because I let it out at night and when the house is empty. I just can't imagine living my life having to go through this again and again. I know I probably won't kill myself anytime soon, but this just makes it worse because I know I have to keep living with this.

    I feel slightly better having let that all out, but I still feel pretty damn crap..I realize this is all over the place and I might not have properly explained things and I'm sorry if that's the case. Well, thank you for reading this.
  2. Tecky

    Tecky Well-Known Member

    I read and understand.

    I don't have a skin condition but I do look ugly. There's something wrong with my teeth and they didn't grow properly because I didn't wear braces when I was a kid. So now my jaws kinda stick out a bit. Hard to describe my features online. I would have to post pictures one day.

    Anyway, yeah, I don't have much luck with the opposite sex because of my looks. So I do understand. Unless I wish to consider radical plastic surgery, there's nothing I can do. A doctor I spoke to said it would involve shaving off a bit of my jaw bone.

    Now, let us talk about your skin condition. The doctors you spoke of sounds like they would for some government sponsored outfit and they are obligated to see so many patients a year. Such doctors are usually so overworked that they couldn't care less if you were dying. Why not consider seeing a doctor at some private clinic? Where do you live by the way?

    Seeing a private doctor at some classy clinic is usually very expensive, but it might be worth it! My problem (with my facial structure) can't be helped but your skin condition sounds curable!

  3. black-dragon

    black-dragon Member

    Thankyou for your reply, I really appreciate that somebody took the time to read through all that:smile:

    I live in Australia. Over here it's not possible to get an apointment with a specialist unless you are first referred to them by a GP. It will be months before I do see him, but I'm not as afraid about that as I am of the possibility of there being no cure. From what I've read online it's likely that there is no cure, but there might be things that could be done to improve the skin.

    Thanks again for your reply, I feel a bit better now.
  4. Tecky

    Tecky Well-Known Member

    hmm... I can't edit my messages once I post them. Anyway, I meant to say 'The doctors you spoke of sounds like they work for some government outfit...' and not 'would for'.

    Oh by the way, can't you just walk straight up to a hospital and make an appointment with a specialist yourself? In Singapore, it would be better if a GP refers you, but it is not compulsory. Just more expensive.

    Aren't there any classy, expensive skin clinics that celebrities go to? I am sure if you can afford that, you will find doctors who will take your problem more seriously.

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2008
  5. black-dragon

    black-dragon Member

    As far as I know the referral is compulsory. There are skin rejuvination clinics that I could go to without referral, but the high price of a consultation ($140) and treatment (could easily end up costing $1000+) on top of the mixed results of their treatments make me extremely hesitant unless I'm it's recommended by my doctor or my dermatologist. I'll check with my GP tommorow if there are any dermatologists that don't require the referral.

    The dermatologist I saw for my acne acknowledged the problem, but suggested that I finish the treatment for my acne before trying to do anything about it. I was on roaccutane which makes the skin very weak so I don't think he was just brushing me off. It's just that after I was done with the roaccutane I forgot about it for a while. It's the first dermatologist I saw for my acne that just brushed me off.

    Anyway, I think that I'll just have to wait and see if there's something that can be done. Thanks so much for your help:biggrin:
  6. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    With editing of messages: You can edit them up to 60 mins after you've posted them.. After that, only the staff can :)