I hate being manipulated by my friends.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Athnys, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. Athnys

    Athnys Well-Known Member

    I hate it.

    My humor is melancholic, and my friends know it.

    I used to be pretty dumb, and whenever they wanted to manipulate me, they'd just do things to exploit my melancholia like make me feel guilty or more hurt than I already was. They'd ignore me or not talk to me, and if I said how I felt they would demand that I stop mentioning my feelings or otherwise tell me that my feelings were false or invalid. They even got me to believe lies about myself to make me feel even worse.

    I'm getting smarter now, though. I won't be gaslighted anymore. I know what I did, and I remember what I've done, and I was better than they'd have me believe.

    They don't like how I'm smartening up, and they're doing more to try and use my melancholia to their advantage. It makes them mad.

    And yet, I feel worse for upsetting them.
  2. ukone

    ukone Member

    been through similar in the past being used by old friends ect..... think its important to discover yaself with what you like, what you believe, what you want ect once their in place yer will better yourself off. i know with me personally i made my progress learnt to drive ect ect n then old mates wanted to be my best mate then but i know meself their not my cup of t anymore. good luck!
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Some people in the past thought I was lame because I couldn't understand many jokes they wanted me to laugh at. My lack of a "passable" sense of humor was a deal-breaker to them.

    Now, as for your post above:

    I think that if they make it a goal of theirs to upset you and exploit you and your thought processes and sense of humor... then they deserve to feel upset by you.

    They don't deserve to get to know you in my book, and they need to know that it's final (the way you feel about them, that is, unless they change). Otherwise, I hope they aren't in your life for much longer.. I have no idea who you speak of, but they deserve little respect and should be out of your life immediately! They're causing you great pain and suffering.

    What I said are strong words, but this is what I felt right after reading your post a few minutes ago. All the best.
  4. Athnys

    Athnys Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the responses. As you can see I made this thread in the wee hours so I kind of feel a little better now about the situation.

    I should make myself a little more clear, though: I did not mean humor like sense of humor, I meant the four humor temperaments. There's four basic temperaments: phlegmatic, sanguine, melancholic, and choleric. I'm strictly melancholic.
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I'd never heard of the four temperaments before! Nice to learn something new! I just assumed you were talking about something sad in the sense of your humor - a "sad" sense of humor (as melancholy makes me think of sadness because of a book I read when I was a kid - a candy that reminded the father of melancholy).

    Anyways, I fetched the Wikipedia definition of what you speak of, so it might not be accurate (for anyone who might not be familiar with what the OP speaks of) : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Temperaments


    A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very considerate and get rather worried when they could not be on time for events, melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist. They are often self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is sometimes they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others."

    P.S. You're very welcome! Nice talking to you in this thread. :)