I hate being skinny. I hate the insensitive remarks (rant)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by jas, Sep 21, 2011.

  1. jas

    jas Member

    I can't get through a single day without a 'hilarious' comment on my weight e.g:

    - Your legs are so thin, look at those chicken legs
    -omg you are soooo thin (cue them looping their fingers around my arms)
    -Do you even eat?

    I have been thin all my life. My parents and several family members on both sides were also thin, only starting to gain weight in their late 20's. I have a healthy appetite and have no adverse physical issues stemming from my low weight.

    I was oblivious to this issue, then at the age of 15 a guy in a shopping centre walked passed me and shouted 'anorexic' and a group of girls commented loudly on how thin I was and how disgusting I looked. (To make matters worse both of these incidents occured on the same day)

    After this I have been more self conscious, noticing the dodgy looks and hearing the comments that I had previously been blind and deaf to.

    I just wished that people would think about the impact their comments have before they shout them out. To them it's a laugh for a bit, something to stare at for a few moments and then it's over. They don't understand how upsetting it is. I remember all of the looks and comments.

    As a result I have little self confidence. I don't even bother to shop for clothes any more, there is no point I will look horrid in them anyway. Summer is the worst. You see girls in pretty skirts and tops and then there's me in jeans and a cardigan. Going out for meals is just as annoying, often feeling that you have to prove yourself to others that you do actually eat. Then you smile at more harmless remarks 'oh wow, so you do eat' or 'I don't know where you put it all'.

    The whole issue has left me feeling particulary down this week, hence the reason why I am posting this rant. Does anyone else share this issue, or go through similair circumstances? How do you boost your self esteem after a series of insensitive remarks?
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I can relate somewhat. I'm a pretty skinny person. I think that's why I like winter so much, I get to wear a jumper so it makes me feel more secure. I don't really go 'out' much, like an outting for me is going to the shops to get more drinks. So I wouldn't say I have any idea as to how to boost my self esteem after hearing comments about me. I just smoke, but I wouldn't say it's a very healthy copeing mechanism. Stiff shit eh? XD
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm the opposite of you, overweight...and I do get nasty comments from time to time...and I was so self conscious that even in summer I would wear vests over my shirts...putting layers of layers of clothes to hide in....only this year I've been doing things differently...maybe its my age, but I don't care anymore if I'm obese...I walk in tank tops and capris...I wear comfort and fuck everyone (excuse my language) I'm just too tired to worry about it...

    but I totally understand what your feeling, and you know the worst part is I eat healthy, I don't eat sweets or sugar stuff....I don't over eat either...the pills I take made me gain 100 pounds extra within a year...

    I was walking on the street and as I was going to cross the road, this mother with her child was coming toward me and she was telling her daughter that if she eats too much she would end up...(she passes me and then I hear from behind) "You'll end up like her" (she was saying me) I was so shocked I didn't say anything but afterwards I was angry because that's just it, I don't over eat...just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I eat fifteen hamburgers and ice cream by the gallon...

    the hardest lesson here is to live for yourself...do what makes you happy...wear what you like and everyone else can fuck off :)
  4. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you're going through harsh criticism about being little. I don't think anybody is ever completely satisfied with anyone figure cause we all have different views on what looks good and what doesn't. A reason I say that is because I use to be underweight but now I'm obese. When I was underweight people would ask did I ever eat and call me chicken legs since I've always been tall (currently 5'8). Now being obese I get picked at more with remarks from people like that mother did towards you. Little kids in stores will say at times "Mommy.. Why is that lady so big?". People will give me the finger, shout "FAT ASS", "COW", etc at me. I miss being underweight. I preferred the remarks I got then over the ones I do now. I remember when I was underweight though I would want to be bigger. Summer time is also my enemy by the way.. I prefer cold weather so I can cover myself up. I wish I could wear stuff most girls my age wear. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot being my size.

    Eh.. I don't have the motivation to loose the weight though. Doctor said I have a very slow metabolism and I'd have to fight extra hard to stay little. I got tired of fighting for anything a while ago so I just say "fuck it" nowadays and try to drown out the negative thoughts with stuff I love like music, video games, etc. I don't even bother buying clothes anymore. I stay in T-Shirts & PJ Bottoms since I don't go anywhere hardly anyways. I just hate wearing outfits cause I feel like one of those big girls that tries to hard to be cute but is actually repulsive. A lot of times when I would buy a new outfit I'd get a remark saying I'm trying too hard.

    Random Note: I'm currently listening to Let It Snow over and over. Whenever I clicked this topic and saw your avatar, I smiled for the 1st time today. :)
  5. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    I'm rather skinny myself, but don't really get the same reaction from people that you do. Usually for me, people point out how I can stay so slim yet eat so much (but what they fail to realize is that I eat one, maybe two full meals a day on a good day, so it's still far under par for what I should be doing). Only time comments truly bother me is when I'm without a shirt or something, since my ribs are rather visible. I do my best to try and ignore them though.

    There's really nothing you can do to stop strangers from making the rude remarks they're so inclined towards doing. Sadly it's the way people are. If they don't think they'll ever see you again, then what should it matter if they say something rude. Lack of manners to be honest. That aside, if your family and friends keep making these rude remarks, you could politely ask them to stop and let them know that it bothers you. It may seem hard to do, and your lack of self confidence will make it harder, but it may very well put an end to a lot of it.

    So long as you're comfortable in your skin, it shouldn't matter what any other person has to say. Plenty of people deal with weight problems every day, even some that have no need to worry. You said there are no adverse health problems stemming from your weight, so the way I see it, there's nothing to worry about so long as you're fine with who you are.
  6. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    True that. At the start of the year I was quite overweight and then I lost weight to the point of being really skinny. Even then, I'm STILL not satisifed and I'm like "Crap! I have to tone up and build some muscle!" lol...I think we're all hard enough on ourselves as it is without being hard on each other as well.

    To the OP, I know I'm going to sound like a bit of a hypocrite seeing as I barely take my own advice a lot of the time, but try to forget what everybody else says. The body is nothing but a shell anyway. It's what's inside that counts and if they can't accept you for who you are, it's their loss.
  7. jas

    jas Member

    Winter is a great season isn't it! You can layer and as you said you do feel more secure. Thanks for your reply.
  8. jas

    jas Member

    It really is disgusting how people think they are entitled to ruin someone's day with an upsetting comment. I doubt a lot of them even care about the consequences, such comments just come automatically to them.

    These strangers know nothing about us yet they think they are qualified to judge us and have an opinion on us, talking about us whilst we are in close proximity as it's not like we care or have feelings do we? I suppose it's just human nature.

    To morning rush and bitterness (I'm glad my avatar made you smile!), I'm sorry you had to hear those horrible things, people can be such arseholes.

    Thanks for all your comments, I will try to be more secure about myself and will block out these morons in the future
  9. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    I've been very underweight all of my life and though at my age I'm supposed to be past all of the hurtful comments it has damaged my self confidence. The people who are hurling insults are themselves terribly insecure and craving a short-lived moment on dominance. I just try to stay grateful for my generally good physical health and wear clothing that doesn't accentuate my build.
  10. Joshua2803

    Joshua2803 Well-Known Member

    Awe,im sorry people say mean things to you about your weight. Most of the time people are just doing things for a quick laugh as you said but they dont know they are ruining someones day or lowering their self esteem. Also these people who say things like this usually have low self esteem theirself and want to make someone else feel bad. Even though its going to take time if you dont have any health problems try to ignore what they say. I hope this suggestion helps you.
  11. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    I can completely relate to this. I'm 19 years old and i weigh about 100 pounds, ive never been over 105..ever. People say things all the time to me about my weight, and the insensitive remarks can cause alot of damage to the self-esteem. Im sorry they've been cruel about it to you, but when it comes down to it you've just gotta remember..if they're making fun of you for your weight, they're probably insecure about their own. Ive had a ton of fat girls (no offense to anyone heavy set out there) make fun of me, but really, i know they get made fun of, and they dont like the way they look. unfortunately some people need someone else to feel bad with them. So, my advice to you, is to hold your head high and just remember that they're just jealous. Everyone wants to be skinny these days, and they dont like having to work out 5 days a week to get no where close to how you look. <3
  12. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I had this all the way thru my teens.
    Now a very overweight middle aged woman, I'd kill to be that skinny again :laugh:
    Wear clothes that give you some padding, bootcut trousers to hide the skinny legs and a great favourite of mine was an angora jumper, all white and fluffy, that helped me have some shape on the top :lol!:
  13. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    *SIGH* I'm sorry you're getting teased and taunted. How rude of them!

    I don't know your situation or where you live etc. but where I live, there are always loads of daytime shows that offer fashion tips and deals for different body types. They also give out the names of some stores who have "fashion consultant shoppers" that you can make an appointment with.

    I like the practical ideas that other members here have given you themselves.

    When I was very tiny (short and slender), I looked at where other women of my stature shopped to see where else I might try.

    And just for the record, my thinnest friend from high school has four kids, looks as though she'd had none and is perfectly (and I mean PERFECTLY) balanced head to toe.

    Feel beautiful for who and how you are. These people are small-minded if other people's appearance is the most important comment they can make. :hug: