I hate Christmas

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Chargette, Dec 23, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I go through the motions of Christmas. I put on my phony, I'm okay mask, and use a soft, gentle voice for everything I say. I feel the stress when everyone arrives; building and building from seeing the smiles, hearing the voices that get louder, and the laughter. All of it is an invasion to the world of depression I live in. I dare not speak of it or I hear a ton of solutions and ridicules to "make me laugh/smile."

    I tell myself it's only for a few hours, then they are gone. I'm polite but I mostly try to observe them from an objective point of view. When I get the chance, I get away for 5 or more minutes to sit with my eyes closed and breath.

    I try not think and I try not to feel. When they go home, I'm so exhausted.

    Christmas has no meaning anymore. Only memories of phony, egotistical, codependent family members. So many hateful things have been said. Both sides of my family are guilty and the same goes for both of the in-law families in my life.

    Many of them have died and I don't miss them. My thoughts are, what goes around comes around.

    To everyone here who is experiencing a painful Christmas, I will be thinking of you and praying for you. I know I'm not alone in what I'm experiencing and somehow that helps me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 23, 2009
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    ~know exactly how you feel...

    Christmas these days really has lost it's original purpose.
    Since I originally left home for college- I told everyone not to buy me anything; but year after year they do it anyways.
    I feel bad because I have no money to return the favor, but at the same time... why the hell are we doing this anyways?!

    Christmas just makes people miserable and depressed.
    The only good thing about it is that moment of happiness on a kid's face when they get something nice...
    -__- and we don't have any children in our family anymore, so it's honestly just pointless and stressful.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hoping the day passes quickly for you...big hugs, J
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Sending you lots of :hug:

    I so understand what you're going through...I can't participate in parties anymore...they make me feel so uncomfortable and its people I see only once a year...have to tell them who my parents are for them to remember me...its ridiculous...my dad knows how to make me feel guilty when I say I'm not going....to him its very important but I mean those people don't really care, I mean they're all smiles but really I don't know them and don't care to know them...

    I hate christmas...I hate the new year and then my birthday...sigh...just one after the other...
  5. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    :hug: to you too, it's sad...my dad used to spoil Christmas too, choose this time of the year to fight with my mother, my older sibblings,etc, etc...
    I grew up hating Christmas. My father is dead for a good 5 years now and I'm living abroad for decades, so Christmas can be two-faced for me: if I get the chance to travel home I love it, my family, sibblings, mom, "restaured" Christmas; if I don't go home, I tend to get very down and would love to spent it sleeping.
    But I have 2 kids and for the sake of them I try to make something out of it.
    This year, my son(11) said to me: I don't care much about the presents, I just want it to be cousy!
    He doesn't know (I think :unsure: ) he asked me the most difficult present to get, but I'm doing my best and a bit more this year!
  6. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    Xmas means exactly the same for me too. Just hope I can sneak off and hide in an empty room for as long as I can tomorrow..
  7. AEdle

    AEdle Well-Known Member

    I have to agree with you.

    I hate Christmas as well.

    Nothing is better than being alone with a cup of something and listen music..This is how i should spend my time and Christmas and New Year.

    Hope this day will pass fast ...

  8. orangejulius

    orangejulius Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I've never celebrated Christmas because of the religion I was raised with. Doesn't bother me any. It's just the constant realization that I'm alone that bothers me. I watch these happy couples with their kids, and I've begun to believe that I am missing something that will allow me to do the same.

    Even though I'll be spending the next few days with most of my family, I'm depressed that I may never have one myself.

    It's going to be a hazy Christmas for me. A couple bottles of Moet and Chandon ought to do the trick.

    I hope all of you have a great time though... I feel like a jerk for even posting this.
  9. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    That's all any of us can do!
  10. Jseer

    Jseer Active Member

    I used to hate that old x-mas, smile on the face crap that i used to tolerate when any dumbazz asked "..and what are you doing for x-mas?"

    I now retort "ha,i've strangely became immune to what you deem holiday,i no longer bow to the scamy peer pressure that 90% of you are to cowardly to dare mention"..man it surprises me how it shuts up a whack of people in their
    sheep shitted contaiminated 'spend spend spend' pens.
  11. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    :lol!:, I don't like christmas because of having to meet all the annoying realtives. Some of the kids are just fucking annoying. Kinda glad dad didn't have any brothers or sisters or there'd be even more annoying shits :eek:hmy:.
    Hehe ya, "...and what are you gonna do for christmas?", Hrmmm I don't know...maybe what I usually do in my relatively shitty life :). Hope the new year can treat everyone better then previously!
  12. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    I hate x mas too. My family celebrates it today so I've just been in my room all day alone. No fun at all.
  13. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    I hate Christmas too. I'll be spending the day alone.
  14. deferred dream

    deferred dream Well-Known Member

    Holidays are always tough...I so, so, so desperately want a family...with smiles and traditions...but all I'm reminded of is the dysfuntional family...drug addicted mother, alcoholic father, rage filled brothers. The holidays smell like cigarette smoke and burning space heaters and they sound like coughing. They look like loneliness. I hate holidays. They just remind me of what I don't have. I wish I had annoying relatives...or anyone.
  15. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I am barely even acknowledging Christmas this year. I will eat my turkey and all the trimmings (frankly just because it tastes good) and I will treat it like it was any other day.
    I'm looking forward to Jan 2nd when ALL of this is over.
  16. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm sitting here waiting for what? I've been sitting here trying to enjoy my Baileys and hot chocolate. And shaking with panic about tomorrow. Tomorrow a day that should be special for the kids. It wont be. A day that I have to force myself through with family at my parents house. A day that promises so many things but none will happen. And I do it year after year for the sake of everyone else.

    Got any room for me on that 5 minute break? Wish I could close my eyes to it all too.
  17. chrissetsuko

    chrissetsuko New Member

    I just wish it could be over as quickly as possible. Why should I have to pretend that we are a big happy family when we're not? When the holidays come around, it's supposed to be about reminiscing about good times and pleasant memories of your family members. Those of us that have none only remember the bad shit, when so and so said this or did that. For me, it has become painfully obvious that no one cares and everyone is out to please themselves. I'm embarrassed to say I've been naive all this time. I had a real bad night with family for Christmas eve and the broken nose my boyfriend gave me still hasn't healed. I hope things will get better and it also pains me to see that other people are isolated for Christmas or any day for that matter. I hope everyone can find some peace. You are all in my thoughts.
  18. raincloud

    raincloud Well-Known Member

    I'm with you, Chargette. I hate it, too. I'm spending it alone this year, and that's the best thing I could have done.

  19. Amy

    Amy New Member

    I know what you mean. I can't stand it anymore. I've lost a lot of the people that I love, including my mother to mental illness that's literally ripped my family apart. Is it wrong of me to go to my bf's and see his perfect family, and feel to depressed because I don't have that anymore. All I can do now is sit here and cry, and remember how my family used to be, all the love that there was, and think about now how it's just an empty shell of what it used to be.
    I hope this pain goes away soon, I really can't take it.
  20. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I didn't have to be around a bunch of people yesterday for Christmas- it was just my mom and I- but I was still quite depressed and would of rather slept all day yesterday to pass the time- then have to get up, get ready and cook all day long- which is what I did. I don't want to make it to the holidays in 2010.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.