This site is pretty much useless for getting any decent advice so I am likely only posting because of my profound loneliness. I guess it's kind of absurd to think a group emotionally screwed up people can help others (don't take this offensively please). I don't even know what to say really. I think it's incredibly unfortunate I am even here, as under a different set of circumstances I could have actually kept and maintained a social network which seems to be my biggest problem. I am so out of touch with people particularly girls I can't interact in a meaningful way. There are specific times where I can be incredibly charismatic and have been in the past, but that has basically waned away. Time, lack of social stimulation, living with parents again, represses all that. Once I learned social dynamics I got MUCH better at talking to girls online and improved my 'success' greatly, but it's difficult to transfer that into real life without proper resources. Ultimately, I have wasted a profound and ridiculous amount of time on girls that I end up not dating or having sex which and it basically feels like a waste. The interaction is still worthwhile but humans are not meant to converse all the time over txt, aim, facebook or whatever the fuck. It's irrelevant whether the girl likes me (she often does) as there is seemingly no way to make the transition. There's other things as well, that I guess aren't really necessary to talk about. I've been finding as I've become my mental voracity has increased I've just generally become more depressed. The cliche about ignorance has some truth I guess. I just think it's a lot more difficult for me to feel stimulated from the mundane interaction I'd have to settle for. It's a great burden feeling stuck in an intelligent mind but not being good enough at meeting people or initiating the interaction to actually get similar minded friends, particularly girls. I imagine I've gotten less sex than even the vast majority of the people here, I was essentially raped by a girl once, and had sex with another girl 6 times which was actually really good but that feels infinitely long ago. The last girl I kissed was in 2008 January. I don't know. Not much else to say I guess and again writing on here is pointless but obviously I have no where else to go at the moment.