I hate death and life, where do i belong?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pingu, Oct 3, 2008.

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  1. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    Im not sure how to explain how im feeling right now, but im really scared of death.. Im not afraid of dying, but being dead, and never exist anymore..
    truth is, i dont want to die, i want to live, but my life suck so much that if i actually decide to live, i will never be happy.. i've isolated myself away from all human contact, and i dont know how to get my old life back.. so i have no choise, i have to die.. rather die now than live a horrible life..
    So what do i earn by suicide? nothing really. My brain know that i will be lying dead in my grave FOREVER and never get another chance, but another part of my body tells me i will be happy after i commit suicide, that all my problems will fade away, and i will get a new chance to start over.. but its all bullshit.. i have a dangerous way of thinking, but on the same time it feels good..
    I wish i were dumb enough to believe in a afterlife, so i could just end my life and die happy thinking i will have a new and better life after this, because once ur dead, you will never know the truth, because you dont feel anything.. i hate my brain, i hate how i need to think so much about everything, and have proof for everything i want to believe in..
    So my options are these: Live, and be unhappy, lonely and depressed for the rest of my life, or die and stop existing forever.. And both of them sucks..
  2. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    Where do you belong? In live. If you can't find the old one you loved so much before. Create a new one. Make yourself happy by considering death as a no-no! Dying just sucks. You don't know if there is an after-life, or if you'll be suck in the dark for the rest of eternity. Althought life reserves unlimited suplyes of coping ressources and surprises that could change you and flip you upside down making you the happiest ever! :wink::rolleyes::biggrin: I'm here if you need to talk just pm me :hug:
  3. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    i wish it was that easy to just ''create a new life''.. trust me, ive tried, and its not working.. and i dont expect you to understand, because you havent experienced all the shit ive gone through..
  4. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    Really and how would you know hmmm? Do you really know what shit I went through? Trust me, we're in the same shit hole and were gonna get outta it together. Why don't you go to the mall? Doesn't mean you have to buy stuff. You could just walk around windowshopping ignore everyone else!
  5. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    I do that nowadays, I think it's curing my social anxiety. But for someone who wants to un-isolate themselves it may not be good advice to ignore everyone.

    Do you want to have people to talk to again? If so then you should join some club that's about your hobbie or just something that interests you.

    If you don't want to talk to people again so soon then I say learn to adore your solitude like I have and pay no attention to what others think of you. Just be you. Remember all the little things you enjoy and do them more often. Currently that is working for me just fine. Everything seems calm. The suicide thoughts haven't gone away but I'm in no hurry to die. The scales are pretty much balanced so far. I'm starting a part time job on wednesday which I think is going to boost my confidence a bit.

    I think you just need some YOU time. Take a break from society.

    Death is the worst thing that could happen to you apparently so if you're suicidal you should just live your life like your already dead. Without a care. Let go of all your worries for a moment, stop caring so much and see how great it is to really feel free. Once in that state of mind you'll see your problems aren't actually terrifying and it'll be easier for you to find a suitable solution for yourself.

    Hope that makes sense to you. I don't think words are enough for my kinds of explanations =\

    Anyways good luck.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2008
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