Im not sure how to explain how im feeling right now, but im really scared of death.. Im not afraid of dying, but being dead, and never exist anymore.. truth is, i dont want to die, i want to live, but my life suck so much that if i actually decide to live, i will never be happy.. i've isolated myself away from all human contact, and i dont know how to get my old life back.. so i have no choise, i have to die.. rather die now than live a horrible life.. So what do i earn by suicide? nothing really. My brain know that i will be lying dead in my grave FOREVER and never get another chance, but another part of my body tells me i will be happy after i commit suicide, that all my problems will fade away, and i will get a new chance to start over.. but its all bullshit.. i have a dangerous way of thinking, but on the same time it feels good.. I wish i were dumb enough to believe in a afterlife, so i could just end my life and die happy thinking i will have a new and better life after this, because once ur dead, you will never know the truth, because you dont feel anything.. i hate my brain, i hate how i need to think so much about everything, and have proof for everything i want to believe in.. So my options are these: Live, and be unhappy, lonely and depressed for the rest of my life, or die and stop existing forever.. And both of them sucks..