I didn't wanted to say this,but this is actually my main reason that I seek to kill myself.About 4 years ago,my sister killed herself.A short while after,I started to hate girls for having sex.I know,its completely stupid,but I can't help it. I only hate the girls that I feel sexually atracted to.That is why I don't hate men,my mother or some of the girls.But all the ones I feel sexually atracted I hate. I don't really know if the fact that my sis killed herself made me hate girls,and I don't know why I know hate girls because they are having sex. But the problem is that this incident stops me from doing anything in my life. As I said,I know that I will never have a gf or have sex,not because I hate them,but because I will never have the abillity to talk to them.So I wont get over it by having sex.I have to find another way. As I said,because I hate them,I sometimes really feel I am going mad and I also can't socialize with anyone because of this.Also,being alone just makes be hate them much more. I just need to always keep myself busy to not think at that.And I do not need to see a girl.I am simply disturbed by the fact they have sex,without thinking at one in particular. But the problem is that these thoughts becom,e worse and worse. In the last weeks,many times I am thinking to <Mod edit: Abacus21 - graphic> And I look at girls with a lot of hate now.I just can't stand it. I either find a way to stop thinking like that,or I kill myself.Its better for me to die,then to become a killer.