I hate having depression

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Chargette, May 13, 2011.

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  1. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It always comes back. Right now is a good time to do things I usually enjoy and I can't gather myself up to do them.

    I don't want to spend the day mindlessly staring at the walls or internet pages.

    I also hate feeling guilty that I have depression because I believe that I shouldn't have depression. It's hard to keep it in the spectrum of being a disease rather than a temporary state of mind.

    I managed to drag myself over to the treadmill and walk slowly for 5 minutes, and I managed to sit in a pleasant room with sunshine and read daily scripture for awhile. I even had a symphony station playing softly. No difference after doing these things, so it's not a temporary state of mind.

    Having depression like this gets real old. It makes me even feel worse. I know it will pass and I know it'll come back, even though I work a good personal program to manage my depression.

    I want to be better. I want to feel alive and part of life again. It's cruel that I get only glimpses of it.
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    depression is a very cruel illness indeed. we never really are who we were ment to be in that respect once depression takes hold. I have had over 14 years now where it comes and goes ...this last one was pretty bad to the point of not being able to force myself out of bed but im glad we have this place to come and sit among friends. Thankyou for this post ...its nice if only to know other people feel the same. HUGS for u :D xx :stars:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yup depression has beaten me so many times just went to doc again started new meds maybe you need to changed meds too to help cycle from coming back i hope you feel better soon hugs
  4. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    depression sucks!!! i would take a lot of other diseases over this one...you're spot on about the cruelty of only getting a glimpse of life...

    the irony of it is, i am a much better person than i would have been otherwise...and i like who i have become (just minus the depression/suicidal part)...i have never really thought about my life without the disease...so as far as i can tell, i am a part of life? or am i?
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