I Hate Having this feeling

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by theone1977, Nov 10, 2011.

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  1. theone1977

    theone1977 Member

    To day for the first time I was forced sort of to face one of my biggest fears the Humber Bridge, you may say I am a silly sod for saying this but I tried a number of different times to drive across it and have frozen at the tole booth or just turned round and aborted where I was going.

    I am not to bad as a passenger as I can close my eyes and wait till I get to the other side to open them, but when I am driving and have to keep an eye on things I start getting raly raly anxious it been over 3 Hours now sine I got home and I am still shacking writing this.

    What the hells wrong with me, I should not feel this was about 115 Foot Bridge, with the road deck at 50 foot above the water line...

    I just been anxus since work told me yesterday that I had to cross it to go do a few jobs. Did sleep mutch last night and was up at 5am this morning. Just hope they choose some one else next time to go to those clients. They are all nice people but it just that dammed crossing on the river humber I hate.

    If I could take a 70 Mile detore I would but that would of added an extra 2 hours travel time each way and work would not of allowed that.

    Am I just been irrational here?????:itachi::zombie:
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is an irrational fear but it feels real to you, I know. Why do you fear it? Can you remember when it started?
     
  3. theone1977

    theone1977 Member

    I guess I never been that good with heights but as I have got older is got a lot worse.

    The water phobia comes from the fact when I was 3 or was it 4 my dad took me to the beach and I almost drown when I pick up at the time to me was a big rock and tried to throw it in the sea.

    I when face first in to the north sea and he had to pull me out. My mum when ape shit at him at the time and that staid with me since then.

    I can swim but I guess the mixture of deep water in the humber and the height are conspiring against me.

    Half way across on my first crossing to day my heart was racing and my mouth when dry, on the way back home I had to cross it again, I got the hart racing, the dry mouth and my legs almost gave out and turned to jelly.

    I managed to keep the car going and get to the north bank by then I knew I was on my way home.

    Writing this now I am not two bad the shacking finally stopped and the anxiatey almost gone but I guess some of that could be down to the other medication I take finally relaxing me.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too hate going over high bridges hun i had panick attack but couldn't turn around so had to keep going You did good to get across it hun twice wow so now you know you can do it again hugs
     
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