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I hate her?

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I would like to know who decided that once you reach a certain age you should automatically gain respect. In my opinion being old is not a reason for people to treat you with respect. If you want respect you need to earn it. Nor does being biologically related to someone assume that you must respect them. Once again if you want respect you need to earn it, I do not care if you are old, young, related to me, not related to me, if you want me to respect you, you need to respect me as well. My grandmother is probably the cruelest and most ignorant person I know. She is constantly cutting me down, calling me fat, telling me I am a horrible mother for putting my 2 year old in time out when she is bad and cries the entire 2 minutes I make her take timeout for. When my ex commited suicide a year ago she told me it was my fault that I should have just stayed with him even if I wasn't happy. When his mom kept calling me and I finally had my mom talk to her and tell her to stop calling me my grandmother told me that I should talk to her or did I want to be responsible for two deaths. She is a slob. (Me and my daughter live with my Mom and my grandmother) I am the one who has to clean the house all the time and she is disgusting, she leaves gum everywhere, and her bathroom smells like a port a john. She is racist and uses racist language around my daughter even after I have told her time and time again that I do not want that language around my daughter. I snapped one day and asked her why she doesn't go live with my uncle (her son) and she told me if she did that she wouldn't be here to aggravate me every day. I do not know if she has some kind of mental condition or not but it is getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. I do not make enough to live on my own, which is why i am living at home, my mom only makes me pay $400 a month rent which is cheap and all I can afford. But I can't take it anymore. I'm getting headaches from the stress of living here but I have nowhere else to go. I've tried talking to my mom about it but all she says is she is old just deal with it, ignore her. But I can't ignore her no matter how much I try. A person can only take being called fat, a Bi*ch, a horrible mom, a slut so many times before you snap. And I am on that line of my breaking point and I don't know what will happen when she finally pushes me over that edge. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do to get my mom to realize how shitty of a person her mother is. As shitty as it sounds I wish she would just put her in a home and save us all a bunch of stress.
I am almost 40,and a confirmed clott....this means idiot.I know so many younger and brighter ,who are more able to apply what they know to the world at large.
Age is not earned,it comes along with another day upon another day.
Days that could all be spent in contented ignorance and unchecked conceit.

You are smart enough to know that age means nothing apart from a measurement for the passing of days.Build on what you know.
Try to stop yourself being appalled by the reality of your discoveries,and soon you will put much far ground between you and the one who torments you.
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