I love Mass, and I love the silent evenings and quiet time but I hate having to deal with drama, my spouse, everyone creating messes and issues. It's grown worse over the years. Today was hard to get through. I keep going back to wanting to just disappear so that people won't need me. Last week a friend called asking if I could help move a giant present later in the day for their kid and I said maybe but then when I couldn't because my family created so much stuff to do it all blew up. My friend hasn't spoken to me since. It's like one spiral occurs after another. I hate it and I get so down. I don't understand why other people wouldn't rather just sit quietly and enjoy the peace.