I hate life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gloomy, Jul 17, 2011.

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  1. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    There are so many horrible things in my head and in the world around me that I can't take it. People are cold and selfish. They need to be entertained and satisfied and impressed and I just can't do it and I can't see the value in doing it either. I have nothing to offer them, and they have nothing to offer me.

    The government is evil and oppressive. Everything and everyone is doomed. I can't stand the bickering, the arguing, the fighting, the clawing. And the planet is dying-- we're killing everything until finally the world decides it has had enough and it's going to kill us, and we know that we're responsible but at the same time nothing is changing-- it just keeps getting worse and worse until finally something is going to happen to kill us all... and there's nothing we can do because the fight is too large and even if I decided to be a part of the solution there would be no way to convince enough people to follow and they would destroy the world and the only comfort I would have in my last remaining seconds on the planet would be that I wasn't responsible, even though it wouldn't matter anyways.

    Helping other people to have better lives is a waste of time and counterproductive-- there are too many people already without saving/helping others feel better about themselves. Seriously, I don't think that any single member of the human race has the right to feel good about themselves, considering how many of us there are, what we do to the planet, to each other, to ourselves... and all the comforts of technology and sex and drugs and religion and hate and families that inherit our own perpetual eternal emptiness.

    I want a relationship, but I feel like the only reason I want one is to distract me from the inherent shittiness of the world... and to be honest, I think I'm too selfish to really have anything to offer anyone anyways. Plus I wouldn't want to inflict myself upon them, but it's okay, because no one is interested anyways-- for a good reason.

    And the longer I go without someone, and the more I keep pushing people away and spending all of my time alone, the more and more I feel like I'm turning into some sort of horrible irredeemable monster who can't enjoy anything and has zero empathy, patience or value... and in a society this cold and hollow and superficial, not having value is probably the worst thing in the world.

    I feel like killing myself would actually be a good thing... for me, and for everyone else. And of course other people would say 'NO NO NO NO don't do it', but they don't have any reasons to say that, they just say it because they're programmed to, or because they have some irrational impulse to save every human life because it's all precious and special and wonderful-- well, no, it isn't... almost 7 billion people means that no one is particularly special or important or worthwhile... it's all an act, or propaganda. Nothing we do is particularly important either.

    Life is not worth living.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I disagree, many people and things are somewhat shitty but many are not. Many people give blood, work in charity shops, do indredible things just to help others.
    Our society may be flawed but that is due to it not being designed but growing organically over millenia.
    People are not special, you are right but we all have the potential to make a positive difference in the world and that is what we should all aim to do, in my opinion, including you. Your death will not accomplish that.
    Find your strengths and use them to better the world.
     
  3. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    ^^That's one of those bullshit attitudes I'm talking about. Yes, people help each other... but that's one of the problems. Giving blood and doing charity is actually contributing to human overpopulation... and I can't stand people who seem to think that they're doing any good by helping more people live longer. There are too many people in the world, and the more people there are the more it grows impossible for anyone to have any sort of meaningful existence at all.

    We don't have the capacity to do any sort of good-- that's just an illusion or some bullshit to make ourselves feel better about it all. Even if we make the world a better place for other people, we're still in the middle of a huge mass-extinction of all species... and even as our comfort level grows and we can do the things we do faster and more efficiently, when it comes down to it we have not made the world a better place for anyone except ourselves, and really, even that is debatable... because in reality everything we have is bullshit and we are living in confusing and unnatural prisons that are changing too fast for us to ever adapt. The only way to survive is to pretend like everything's okay, or to 'focus on the bright side' and pretend like nothing's wrong. Seriously, I don't know if people out there can actually handle this or are okay with all the guilt and the worry and confusion that comes with living the way we do, but I don't think I can take it.... it's making me sick.
     
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Yeah, but what about Girl Scout Cookies and Weebolos and Alex's Lemonade Stand and Roller Coasters and Jerry Lewis Telethons and Hospital Clowns and Pizza and Cotton Candy and Mozart and Dvorak...

    Surely you can't compile all of human endeavor into one large trash heap. I think we're seeing the errors in our overconsumptive ways and are making efforts to turn back the environmental clock. What we really need to work on is overthrowing the goddamn monetary capitalist system that we're slaves to.
     
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