I hate me and my life.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cantgiveup, Apr 21, 2011.

  1. cantgiveup

    cantgiveup New Member

    I have a mom who hates the way my body looks. She constantly yells at me about it, and I hate it. I can't find the strength to lose weight because I look to food for comfort. But whenever I gain weight, she'll find some way to yell at me again. It hurts. I don't know what to do. I don't have any frineds that will relate to me. And right now, I just relaly want to kill myself.
    It's horrible the way she screams at me.
    I have all this pressure from my dance teacher and my mom.
    I know i'm supposed to be skinny.
    I really want to lose weight. I want to make this all stop.
    But I find it hard to give up the one thing that offers me comfort.
    I effed up my life and I just need a supporting hand.
    I'm hoping that this site will allow me to keep holding on.
    Please, please help me.
    I just wnat all of this to end. But its so hard to not eat when you're in so much emotional pain.
    I have no confidence.
    I have no hope in life.
    The only hope i find in life are my grades.
    But i can't concentrate on them when she's yelling at me.
    Does anybody have some other form of comfort thats not in the form of food?
    please. help.
    please don't say anything negative about me. you might think that i'm extremely weak or to dramatic.. but you don't have to hear her screams.
     
  2. voa

    voa Member

    theres nothing weak about feeling the pressure. I live with a "tiger" mom myself. Asians lol. She constantly compares me to my cousins who are all doctors or work for hospitals in some sort of way. I think she's ashamed that i want to be a writer. I've been trying to keep up my grades, but i'm slowly slipping. I dont think i'll be able to finish college either. So i know how you feel about letting your mom down. The only thing i can say is, your life is yours. you can do whatever you want and everything is temporary. Even your mom yelling in your ear lol. dont give up on life because of your mom. That's such a bad reason. There's so many people you can affect positively in the future.
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    It makes me sad to hear what your Mum does...it's not helping your self esteem yelling at you like that.
    are you able to get her at a quiet time and tell her how you're feeling...really feeling inside?
    perhaps she doesn't know any other way and thinks she's helping..
    telling her what you need may help her to help you better
     
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    You are not 'supposed' to be skinny - although if you want to be a model then it helps to look like a skeleton wearing a flesh coloured Lycra body suit.

    Real women, almost always NEVER live up to the atypical slim, boyish looks, barely any breasts and no backside. Thank God!

    Many of these skinny models look like they have camped out in a homeless shelter for beauty treatment - and many have 'heroin eyes', or 'coke eyes' - not so much the window to the soul as the guide to modern pharmaceuticals and illegal drugs!

    As for mum - are you sure you don't castigate each other for weight? I know my sisters are always on diets and they will maybe make remarks that sound cruel when you are down. If you issue with your mum is basically that she berates your weight - please just tell her its making you feel insecure and its demeaning for you at such a young age. Then again, your mum could be passing you adult sized meals when your a child and not care about your dancing. Maybe she sees talent and does not want you to lose it. At least she loves you.

    If you have always liked dance but now have second thoughts - you CAN stop doing it, especially if makes you miserable. If it affects your grades or eats into time you might enjoy studying academic things - then leave the dancing for the dance of joy you will do when you PASS your grades and have some sort of hope of working in something you like.

    Sometimes its good to do things we might not like. But when things make us miserable then maybe its time to stop doing it. Maybe you should have a talk with your mum as you sound really fed up and depression can sometimes build up just through 'silly' things like this.

    You must be young and I really hope you can understand that mum, pushy as seems, is likely only thinking of your own good. Explain to her that you are proud of good grades and do not want the dance to interfere with study and so on.

    Try to make it up with your mum - understand that she is likely trying to push you a little because maybe she missed those opportunities when she was your age.

    There are many other less demanding dance clubs out there and also sports clubs and the like. Maybe you ought to also just chill out a little also - I mean sit back, watch the TV, read a book, talk to your mum and dad and maybe other family. At your age putting on a few pounds ought not to be a worry. In fact, for exams, its would be best of you ate well and treated yourself to whatever you want to eat. Food is not so much comfort - being full and eating nutritional tasty enjoyable food actually boosts the brain! A breakfast could make the difference between B minus and B plus.

    If you feel really bad then this might be about more than a bit of weight loss and dancing - its possible you have a little bit of depression also. This is likely just the stress of demand in your life - so its wise to have that little talk with your mum - but do so when you feel calm.

    Also, write how you feel on some paper or on the computer. Delete or destroy it afterwards. This gives you an insight into how you feel and what you'd like your mum to do for you. Ask yourself if you ever shout at her? I used to shout a lot at people, but I learnt that I never got what I wanted and never won an argument in any sensible manner.

    It is tempting as loved ones are often the only ones you an shout at without risking a fight! But, all the same, be careful there. If you really feel angry I find walking always helped. I would walk until I knew the anger was dissipating - then I'd turn back and know that by the time I got home I'd be exhausted in mind as well as body.

    Good luck!

    PS Even a Tiger mum has a soft spot for the cubs!

    A daughter can always use that.