I hate...me

[InnerStrength]

New Years really illuminates a pathetic life. I'm sure it's been said before. 2007 was an empty year, not one stand out moment, for me atleast. Last year was bascically "Drive to work, come home, sleep." In addition to the depression caused by this reflection, I'm almost positive I overheard a conversation between two co-workers about me, in a negative context. Names weren't mentioned, but I got this bad gut feeling it was about me. At this moment I wish I could trade places with someone (not anyone, of course). I'm inferior slime.

 

[Luliby]

Hi InnerStrength,

Hey, it'll be ok. One of the problems with New Years is everyone is taking an inventory of the previous year and thinking about forecasts for the future. In itself this is great! But when you have depression, like me, then everything is seen through dark glasses. It's as if I'm a magnet for every negative memory I've ever had. So, when I look back to last year all I see is colored with this negativity and when I think about next year I simply assume it'll be more of the same. This is depression talking.

Try to remember some of the good moments. I even keep them in a journal now to remind me when I have these depressive episodes. And I avoid trying to judge, or assign value, to these moments because depression also tries to negate the small good things as insignificant.

It'll be ok. you are NOT inferior slime. You are a person of value. Wishing you well, Luliby.