So... my financial situation was looking ok... I am waiting on a tax return (will come by the 12th), I won a little bit in an online casino... But I'm still waiting on my email confirmation of my unemployment benefits coming on Thursday. They are supposed to come 2 days prior to the pay out date, which is the last weekday of the month... At this moment I own the equivalent of about £50 in this world. I did some clothes shopping earlier... If for some reason I am not getting my benefits (it has happened before because they forgot to transfer me in the system... and then when I called them a horrible lady told me "And how's that my problem??" when I asked her how I was supposed to pay rent etc...)... Luckily back then it was sorted, but I had to beg the bank to allow my account to go below zero so I wouldn't lose my tiny little flat... the bank lady was really nice actually and reminded me I also needed money for food.. I didn't care about that. I was supposed to be okay financially... of course I'm not rich... but I was planning for once to end next month with a bit of a savings of £400. I just... ugh. My heart is racing, I'm shivering and I'm crying. I HATE MONEY! Why do we need money to live? The worst thing... these situations make me think about turning to prostitution again, like my 'ex' idiot forced me into. And doing that will probably kill me... it is the last thing I need now... I am supposed to work on the sexual abuse etc. with my therapist soon (so far we're working on SH and childhood abuse from my mum)... Just a few months ago my friend was in this situation... it messed her up so bad and I told her to try to forget about it until the morning when she could actually do anything about it... Just... ugh. I am not listening to my own advice. I keep refreshing the page.