I HATE my baby's father

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by moogkitz, Dec 3, 2013.

  1. moogkitz

    moogkitz Well-Known Member

    He is so useless and unreliable and I don't even know why I'm with him right now. I feel like I am being punished for breaking the hearts of so many guys who were madly in love with me in the past. I was stupid enough to let this fool get me pregnant and tell me that he would step up to the plate. I believed him like an idiot, and here I am, while he goes out and gets drunk every night with his childish friends and leaves me alone at home all day. He will take me to doctor's appointments, sure but that is about the extent of it. He works two, maybe three days a week at his minimum-wage job and we're in debt and he doesn't seem to care. I don't know what he cares about. Not me. Not our baby. Not being a fucking adult. Just having fun and getting high/wasted. Oh and playing video games. I sit at home and sob myself to sleep, then he comes to bed around 2am, snoring loudly and reeking of beer. He came home drunk off his ass on saturday night and passed out on the couch even though he had to be at work at 10 the next morning. If it wasn't for me he would have never gotten up. I should have let his ass fall and get fired like I know he would have but I care too much. I wish I could just die and not have to deal with his idiocy anymore. I can't kick him out because his name is on the lease and we need money to pay all the bills we are so far behind on. It's already tough on me to find another job looking as pregnant as I do but he is a young, able-bodied male it shouldn't be difficult for him to get a job. Yet he doesn't even try. I think he spent 30 minutes looking for jobs like two days ago and that was it. Why did I do this to myself. I should have stayed in school but I let myself get knocked up by this asshat. I am just as stupid as he is. What is wrong with some men (boys I guess) these days?? There are so many young women in my same exact situation and why?? It pisses me off.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Get away from him - contact social services to get help raising the child, and let them and the state worry about how to motiate him to pay child support. Hopefully at some point he will mature and try to be a father to the child but if he is not helping you or the child right now you will get far more assistance without him than with him.

    You did not mention his ot your age but the fact is women mature much more quickly than men on average. While there are clearly exceptions, many young "men" are far more boys than men and many young women while being more responsible themselves in most things lack experience in judging men and make poor decisions thinking the "man" more capable or mature than then man actually is. The nurture instinct in a man does not develop until much later in a man and never to the same degree that most women will have it. While I hear what you are saying about the lease and the bills - while you are together and using his income as family income you will qualify for very little assistance and all the beer and partying is not paying the bills at all.... I am sorry you are in such a difficult position and hope you find the strength and resources to extricate yourself from that situation sooner rather than later....
  3. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for you. I've been with men like that before. One was addicted to video games and I was always left by myself feeling alone and retarded for staying with him, and the other was a dope fiend and constantly lied about it, sold everything we owned, and stole hundreds upon hundreds of dollars to support his habit. Well, needless to say I did end up leaving both of them eventually, but I know how difficult it is. And I didn't even have children with either of them, so I really feel for you there. If he's absolutely useless like you say he is, though, then you're better off leaving and getting help from the government to take care of your child and/or collecting some kind of child support from him. You need to find somewhere else to live and tell him to go screw himself. I know you don't want that ridiculousness around your baby. Or you, for that matter. Also, don't be so hard on yourself for making mistakes. I know I've made plenty myself, I never even got a high school diploma, but I still went back and got a GED and went to community college. There will always be time to go back to school and get your life on track once you feel more capable and stable, but if you continue living how you're living now that's never going to happen, all he's going to do is bring you down physically and emotioally until there's nothing left, so the first thing you need to do to start fixing it is get the hell away from this guy. If he's treating you like this already, it's never going to change and will only get worse when the baby comes. The biggest mistake I made is waiting as long as I did to get out of those relationships because I hoped something would change. It never does.
  4. moogkitz

    moogkitz Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies. I am so conflicted about our relationship I don't know what to do with myself most days. Today he was gone all day and didn't come home till around midnight, drank a beer in the living room with his cousin, smoked some weed then passed out. Barely talked to me at all (well I wasn't really responsive to anything he was saying to me but still). I Hate myself for being with him. I used to be fun and I used to have friends, and a job and a positive outlook on life, now I just sit at home all day, waiting for him to come back so I can at least have someone to talk to. But I can't even get that :( I've told him how I feel before, and he responds positively for about a day then just goes back to his old ways. I'm not sure what I can do now except nag him, but he hates that and it gets us nowhere so I've just stopped trying. It is so frustrating. I don't even think he really loves me, he just puts up with me now because I am pregnant with his baby. Really if it wasn't for this baby we wouldn't be together I don't think. I don't know if I love him either. I think I do but that's only when he's doing something right, and most of the time he's doing something wrong. I am so lonely and miserable and stuck. I Hate life now more than I ever have before... all because of him. I cry myself to sleep and he just doesn't have a care in the world! He hates being told what to do as well. He gets an attitude when anyone tells him to grow up. I don't know why. I Hate this.

    I am moving in with my mom soon. I don't know where he is going but I hope when he gets there he realizes that it is time for him to start taking some responsibility and be a man. Cause I'm damn tired of telling him the same things over and over.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You just need a little more power in your life.. income or your name on the lease would be a start.
  6. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member