I hate my dad...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cloud9, May 10, 2010.

  1. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    I don't know, nothing seems to make sense or work for me right now.

    Anyway...my dad is finally back from Pakistan. He had been away for about four months. It's funny, I'd swear my house was happier when he wasn't around. He's only been back three days and those dreadful feelings of him being around are coming back.

    Anyways the second day he was back, my sis, dad and I decided to go to Starbucks to catch up. I took it as an opportunity to break it to him that I was thinking about applying to medical school. I could tell his blood was boiling. He was disappointed that spending my time in university studying accounting, it had been nothing but a waste. All he saw was time lost. My sister of course wasn't helping. Explaining to him that my "happiness" - i don't even know the meaning of the word - is what should be important just doesn't work on him. My happiness is the last thing he really cares about. I guess I should provide a bit more background. I'm currently in my final year of a science and accounting program. The science portion fortunately gives me enough prereqs to apply to some medical schools in my area. I guess the fact that I studied a subject all these years that won't help me in medicine ticks him off. Seriously though, I'm 22, should I really know for certain what I want to do for the rest of my life? I was confused before making the decision, after I made the decision, and after seeing his reaction. Seeing him angry has almost crushed my drive to apply to medical school in the first place. How do people already know at my age without any hesitation what they want to do. I hate accounting. I figure why not try medicine. I don't know what to do and I hate my dad for being the way he is. As far as he's concerned I've just wasted time and need to find the quickest way to become a doctor. You know what? Its really not my fucking fault that he married so late and had me as late as he did. If the thought of him having to work four more years while I spend them studying at med school is driving him up the wall, fuck him. Shouldn't he have planned his retirement better? I really have mixed emotions about this. I feel like the bad guy at the end.

    Today was Mother's Day. My dad successfully tainted today for me too. While my mom stepped out I figured I'd wash the dishes for her. After all, I should do that at the very least on mother's day right? What made me angry was what my dad said. He stopped me from washing the dishes. He basically asked me what I was doing in the kitchen. I explained that I was washing the dishes. He asked me again why I was doing something like this and went into gender specific roles bull shit saying washing dishes is not my work. It should be for girls. Wha fucking bullshit is that. I explained I was doing it for mother's day and he just disregarded that fact. He even had the nerve to say "you're not too Canadians so that you should be washing dishes." What the fuck is that supposed to mean. Doesn't he see how unhappy he's made my mother?? Fuck him. Doing dishes is not a girl's job. Who says that there shouldn't be equity in terms of household chores in a house between husband and wife. I think its ideal. Do you enjoy and cherish your wife's company or is she just around to clean after your disgusting ass? This behaviour from my dad really pissed me off. I mean why is he sooo stuck in his old outdated village idiot ways??? Life doesn't work that way anymore....

    He's only been back three days and again those feelings of dislike/hatred/whatever they are are creeping back. I wish he was back in Pakistan for another few years.....*sigh*

    I hate this feeling..........this feeling of being alone and helpless...:sad:
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hey, Hun. I'm sorry this is happening. Your father sounds like an ass, putting it lightly. It sounds very unhealthy being around him. I feel for you and your family. I think everyone should be treated with respect and thoughtfulness. I think it was a lovely act of kindness you tried to show your mother, I have a lot of respect for that action. It takes a true person to be a human being that has courtesy for others, compared to the people that think they have to act like all powerful king of crap. Be proud of yourself. Always stay true to your morals; there will always be ignorance in the world, but you know what's right in your heart and mind. :hug:
  3. Pow

    Pow Well-Known Member

    Wow sorry to hear that.
    I think that's a very sweet act that you did for your mother and if your father thinks THATS a womens job then I think he has no judgement of what job your going to do. He obviously has a mind set to tradition around the house and is forgetting this is 2010.
    Anyways, carry on what you want to do and don't let your father bring you down.
    As for him, I hope he gets put washing dishes for the rest of his life.
  4. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    Aaron, your dad has problems. He is a misogynist, and has control issues. There are a lot of people like him unfortunately.

    What you did for your mom was really sweet, and I bet it touched her heart.

    You have to make your own future. Sometimes, we really need our parents support, and it isn't there. It makes it harder to be happy with the choices we've made in the beginning. My dad did nothing but ridicule everything I did. I finally realized he had a lot of anger issues, and that nothing I did would ever make him happy, so I gave up trying. Screw him.

    Having the attitude you do, just shows how much of your mom you have in you. And having you I'll bet is making all the difference in the world to her. I know there are so many times when my wonderful son kept me together. I never wanted to put that on him, but knowing that someone so incredible came out of the situation he did, brings me my one spot of true joy. I'm wondering if your mom doesn't feel the same way. And it sounds like you have your sister's support as well, even if she doesn't know the right thing to say right now?

    You sound like you'd make a great doctor. If this is the avenue you choose, I sure wish you the best of luck. Don't let your father's issues drag you down. Sometimes we can't be happy because of some of our family members, but we can be happy in spite of them. And it is very common for people to change majors in college several times. I don't think your time in college has been wasted. You've learned a lot, and some of that will apply towards whatever direction you decide to take.

    Please pm me if I can ever help.