I HATE my extended family.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by skyisburning, Jun 3, 2010.

  1. skyisburning

    skyisburning Well-Known Member

    First off, let me just say that I come from an area of Kentucky that is heavily embedded with Southern roots/traditions/etc...and one of the biggest things here is the bond people have with their families. All of my friends have aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, grandparents, cousins, etc. that they see on a regular basis (usually at family gatherings at least once a week).

    Well, I never really had that. I'm very close to my parents and my one brother, and when my grandparents were alive I was close to them too. However, in the past 5 years a ton of things have happened. All 3 of my grandparents (one of my grandfather's died long before I was born) passed away within the span of less than 2 years, my brother left for the Navy, I left for college, my closest set of grandparents' home was robbed (2 days before my grandfather died--and it was robbed by a family friend), my grandmother had a stroke after all of this--which she recovered from (and as I mentioned already, she went on to pass away, a few days after Thanksgiving and it was out of nowhere, she fell ill one day and died 2 days later)....and if things were bad enough already, my extended family blows.

    Both my mother and my father were the only "successful" children out of each of their families (not that my grandparents weren't successful...they were, they just managed to raise a few shitty children). The easiest way for me to describe my relatives is to split them up:

    1. My father's brother is about 65 years old and delivers pizza for a living. Aside from the fact that he has never treated me like a niece, he barely speaks to his own children...or grandchildren...or his one great grandchild. He does not bathe (and NO, I'm not being mean, I'm serious), and he has been living with some ***** for the last 10 years. So yeah...forgive me if I'm not exactly close with my uncle.

    2. My father's sister is about 65 too...maybe a few years younger. She is...a DECENT aunt (and I'm being nice). She lives in Alabama in a trailer, where she spends her day on the computer and smoking. Now, I'm giving her some credit because she has at least tried to be a somewhat decent aunt, even though she's rough around the edges and loud/wild/annoying, but she still isn't about to get the "aunt of the year" award. Plus, I hold a little contempt (just a little) for her because my father's mother went to live with her about 8 years ago, and from there her health declined to the point of passing away. And just to clarify...my father didn't send my grandmother away, my aunt insisted that she watch her instead of having her go into a nursing home (which was going to be the next step since it just wasn't fiscally possible to hire help to stay with her anymore).

    3. Saving the best for last...my mother's brother is a piece of shit. He is the crème de la crème of psychotic people and he has provided nothing but pain for my entire family ever since I was born (and apparently, before then too). He is a leech. He sucked the life and money out of my grandparents his entire life. From what I've heard, he used to be a somewhat decent guy in high school (with the exception of being a dick of a guy, which is common, sadly)...however, he got into a car accident on Christmas Eve one year and barely lived. He was thrown something like...50 feet(?) from the car and spent a good deal of time in the hospital with severe head trauma. Once he recovered though, he was never really the same. It's not that he had some extreme personality shift, he just became a huge spoiled piece of shit. He won $30,000 in a law suit from the crash (the other driver who hit them was drunk) and proceeded to piss it away like it was replenish-able, all the while my grandmother and grandfather turned a blind eye because they were so happy he had lived through the crash that they more or less became enablers of his spoiled shittiness. This just got worse as the years went on...my uncle didn't finish college because he didn't care, so they got him a state job...TWICE, and both times he was fired. Eventually he just became a recluse, living in one of the homes my grandparents owned (they own 3 homes that are all beside one another in our town)...the home was where his grandparents had lived and was right behind my grandparents home. As I mentioned, he became a recluse and rarely left the home for the first half of my life. He began dating a really huge piece of trash (who I will get to in a minute) in the very early 90's, a few years after I was born, and has lived with her ever since in that home. My uncle has never really done anything. He gets crazier with time, and no I'm not saying "Oh golly shucks, my crazy uncle! lolz" I mean...he suffers from severe paranoid delusions. That's why he became such a recluse. He feels like everyone is plotting against him at all times, and he doesn't like going out in public during the day because of this reason (at one point he would even look around the room you were talking to him in, expecting find microphones where the house had been tapped by the government). Anyway...my grandparents allowed my uncle to live in that home from then on, paying his bills and giving him money (not exuberant amounts, but enough to live on). My uncle's girlfriend also had 2 small children when she moved in (that weren't his), and my grandmother, being the sweetest lady on earth, treated them as her own grandchildren and gave them many of the same things she gave my brother and me. He lived the good life, and he didn't deserve any of it.

    4 years ago, my grandfather passed away...and things really got bad. In the last 10-15 years of my grandfather's life, he gave up on my uncle and basically acknowledged that he was a piece of shit. He didn't want to cut him off, but he didn't want to give him much money. My grandmother, being a kind woman (and being threatened and constantly chewed out by my uncle--a fact we didn't know of until after her death) continued to give him more money than I'm sure my grandfather wanted. As I mentioned earlier, my grandparents' home was robbed 2 days before my grandfather passed away, putting extra strain, frustration, and grief on our family. My grandmother was heartbroken after spending her life with my grandfather, and while she seemed devastated, she was also strong-willed and planned on sticking around for a while. 2 months after my grandfather passed away though, my grandmother suffered from a two strokes. She recovered physically, and mentally for the most part, however the one part of her brain that was affected from the stroke was the portion that controls emotions such as happiness (of course). Therefore, my grandmother was never quite the same again, and always seemed to be somewhat melancholic for the rest of her life. Over the next few months, we saw the people who robbed our house go to prison and were able to get back some of the items that had been stolen (many of them had been sold on eBay though, and eBay would not help us contact buyers to possibly re-purchase the items...so they were gone for good). Skip forward a few months, the last time I see my grandmother is when I drop her off at her house on Thanksgiving. Two days later, she is taken to the hospital with intestinal issues and she slips into a coma before dying 2 days later. The last time I spoke to her was on the phone, on my way to the hospital. At this point, my poor mother had been through so much in such a short span of time. It wasn't long after my grandmother's death though that the real shit started to go down. We discovered that my uncle's loving girlfriend (who, I forgot to mention, had 2 more children...THAT ALSO WEREN'T HIS! WTF) had charged up my grandmother's credit card $10,000 in the 8 month span between my grandfather's death and my grandmother's. Since they have an income of...well, zero (not including the money she draws from SSI...my uncle doesn't draw anything cause he's too crazy to even go apply), they weren't exactly financially able to pay off the debt...and so guess who got to? My mom. Using the IRA my grandmother had left them to split, they had to pay off the debt. In the following months, my mother also learned that my uncle had been basically harassing my grandmother for years to get money from her, and that my grandmother had silently endured much more than any of us knew. This immediately created even more strain between my uncle and mother. (Okay, at this point I'm getting tired of typing, so I'm going to try and sum it up real quick) It's been 4 years since my grandparents passed away, and their estate still hasn't been settled. My uncle is making matters worse by dicking around and wasting time, and creating more problems for my mother. He's scared of selling the property because it means he will be homeless (remember, his home was owned by my grandmother, and therefore is up for sale too) and have to sort of start over.

    It's bad enough that my uncle is insane, but once you add in his piece of shit girlfriend, it just puts the final nail in the coffin. Not only is she the type of person to bring up lawsuits about anything (to try and make money), but she is a sneaky liar who tries to manipulate people. Well, she thinks she has just as much right to the settlement as my mother does because she is a common-law wife (which is NOT recognized in Kentucky, so basically she's a fucking idiot), and tonight she so much as told my mother this. We discovered tonight that she has been selling furniture out of the house and pocketing the cash (instead of giving it towards the estate, OR asking permission to do so, first), and that she sold a bookcase I wanted and 2 chairs my mother had claimed. When my mother confronted her about it, she got defensive and told my mother to "get off her property." Get off her property?!! She doesn't own a fucking thing! I have more right to the property than her stupid ass does! She tried to claim that since she's lived there 20 years that she has rights as a common-law wife, but my mom put her in her place as much as she could.

    We're going to a lawyer tomorrow to finally settle things, even though financially things are going to end on a much smaller scale than they should have, it has to end. It's caused so much emotional and mental suffering for my entire family that we just can't do it anymore...and it's disgusting to think that my grandparents deaths will always be filed in my memory alongside all of this shit we've had to deal with.

    Like the post title says...I HATE my extended family.