I try to open up... I dunno why... I should have known, it wouldn't work. And then he goes all crazy on me again... He just starts ranting... stuff I already know... I try to remain calm, instead of yelling back, I try really hard, so maybe he can see that something is not ok with him... So then he slowly calms down... I say something back, and he continues... he is so superficial, in his thinking and repeats the same shit. I think he likes to hear himself talk, he dismisses all the important points I tell him, and he tells me 'no no no no', like when it's yes yes and yes. I dunno... He's belittled me a lot, when I was younger... When I was 16+\- and under, and he did that shit, I'd cry in my bed, and just wish to die... Sometimes I see him in myself, I think I inherited his bad genes... but at least, I think I'm aware I have his problems, and I try to control it. I don't wanna be like him... He's abusive and sick in the head, and yet sometimes when I don't engage him into these discussions, when I try to avoid him, he can be nice... I dunno that he's all that bad, too...he just wishes I'd fix the things in my life that are not working, but he doesn't understand that what he does doesn't help me, any. Also, I must say that he has done a lot for me. And that he wishes I'd clean my act up. He just has a big ego... he hates everyone, sometimes... very condescending... Everyone likes to hear themselves talk. No one will ever do anything concrete to help you, not that I'd expect them too, but I never allow anyone to moralize me, anymore. Fucking sociopaths. ''Blablablabla, listen to me, I know so much, you're stupid, blablabla.'' You know those kind of people? Your mother's friends? They think they they're 'in', that they know something, because they watched the TV, and that you're retarded. My mother on the hand, is a bit different... She's more neglecting, I don't live with her anymore... She'd let you do anything... But when something crazy came up... She wouldn't know what to do... My parents are mental, no doubt I'm freaking mental haha Fucking morons. I like my siblings, tho. Except for my half brother, he's a jerk.