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I hate my friends

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by vicky_jane, Aug 15, 2010.

  1. vicky_jane

    vicky_jane New Member

    I used to have loads of friends in school but the moment I left it was like out of sight, out of mind. But at least I still had my few close friends. But then I suffered from depression and social anxiety and my life has never recovered. Those few friends cut my out. Perhaps I made the mistake of trying to explain why I needed them and ended up scaring them away? It wasn't until I'd seen a therapist that they started talking to me again, but things have never been the same.

    I'm so sick of being ignored. I'm 22, I want to be going out to parties, drinking, dancing, having a good time. Instead I'm stuck in every night with nothing but the computer. I only have 2 friends and I'm forever asking them if we can go out and do something, and it's always "too busy" or "too tried" and "too much work" and I'm always telling myself that there's always next week, every single time. I keep getting my hopes up that something good will happen but I can't keep doing this to myself, watching everyone else living their lives and having fun, whilst I'm crying myself to sleep every night. I'm ignored all the time, it's like I'm not even here.

    I even have a job now, which was a big step up for me, but because I never have any fun and because I feel so ugly all the time it holds me back and makes me nervous around people. All my colleagues go out with each other at the weekends and they never ask me because my nerves make me come across as boring. Maybe I am? I try to start comversations but because I never do anything I never have anything to interesting to say and they always look so pleased when someone else comes along for them to talk to. But this 16 year old girl at work has been out more times this week than I have in the last 2 years and that thought alone is seriously upsetting.

    I even asked one of my friends if we could just go to a theme park one weekend and go on the rides, and she said probably not because she has Uni. It's not like I haven't given her plently of notice and it's not like she's gonna be working every single day. Or is she seriously planning on not having one day off? My other friend complained that we never see each other so I got back to him and said we could do something on Monday - it's been over a month and he never got back to me.

    I'm a nice person. Why does this happen to me? I'm so lonely and I have no one to talk to.

    I don't want advice because nothing can make this better. I just want someone to agree that my friends are horrible because everyone else thinks they can do no wrong. I can't even make new friends and I've tried so many times.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2010
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    ...what can I say, really?
    Having your friends disperse and disappear is a part of growing up, I think.
    I'm the same age as you and I don't have a single friend within 200kms of where I live.
    *I* am not a party person though. So I'm not concerned with the same things as you are, but I understand your position and why you are so upset.

    Sounds to me like your friends are the type to make plans and dump on you- not really living up to any of your expectations.
    I've known plenty of people like that and you know what I do? I say "fuck 'em" and find someone else- and something else to do without them.
    They've got their own lives that are apparently more important than you- so- shrug your shoulders and move on.

    It is HARD to make new friends when you aren't in school anymore.
    If you work someplace with people your age, it can be a bit easier possibly...
    You're going to have to try and find some new people who you can go out with and have fun.

    Friends come and go.
    If you want to go out somewhere, but don't want to go stag-- try to make new friends; meet new people and ask them out with you!
    There are some online communities, I'm sure- where you can find local people to go and hang out with and hey- if you end up not liking them much- you can move on, once again.
  3. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Hey, if it's going out to parties and clubs that you want then you don't need friends for that. Trust me, it's a million times harder for a guy than it is for a girl. When you're a guy and out on the town on your own you have to be the one to approach other people and strike up conversations. If you're a girl all you have to do is sit at the bar looking lonely and within the hour you will have several people come up to you to talk to you. And then all you have to do is weed them out. If that doesn't work talk to the bartender.

    But yeah, I understand how you feel, must suck to be by yourself. What is your job? If you were in New Zealand I would totally take you out. But something a friend said to me once was, you're either the hunter or the hunted. If no-one is asking you out, then you have to initiate things. Look for someone who might be lonely, e.g. your boring boss, and then ask them to go out with you some night. There's a million people out there who don't have anything to do but sit in front of a computer on a Friday/Saturday night. Seek them out. Can you think of anyone else?