I used to have loads of friends in school but the moment I left it was like out of sight, out of mind. But at least I still had my few close friends. But then I suffered from depression and social anxiety and my life has never recovered. Those few friends cut my out. Perhaps I made the mistake of trying to explain why I needed them and ended up scaring them away? It wasn't until I'd seen a therapist that they started talking to me again, but things have never been the same. I'm so sick of being ignored. I'm 22, I want to be going out to parties, drinking, dancing, having a good time. Instead I'm stuck in every night with nothing but the computer. I only have 2 friends and I'm forever asking them if we can go out and do something, and it's always "too busy" or "too tried" and "too much work" and I'm always telling myself that there's always next week, every single time. I keep getting my hopes up that something good will happen but I can't keep doing this to myself, watching everyone else living their lives and having fun, whilst I'm crying myself to sleep every night. I'm ignored all the time, it's like I'm not even here. I even have a job now, which was a big step up for me, but because I never have any fun and because I feel so ugly all the time it holds me back and makes me nervous around people. All my colleagues go out with each other at the weekends and they never ask me because my nerves make me come across as boring. Maybe I am? I try to start comversations but because I never do anything I never have anything to interesting to say and they always look so pleased when someone else comes along for them to talk to. But this 16 year old girl at work has been out more times this week than I have in the last 2 years and that thought alone is seriously upsetting. I even asked one of my friends if we could just go to a theme park one weekend and go on the rides, and she said probably not because she has Uni. It's not like I haven't given her plently of notice and it's not like she's gonna be working every single day. Or is she seriously planning on not having one day off? My other friend complained that we never see each other so I got back to him and said we could do something on Monday - it's been over a month and he never got back to me. I'm a nice person. Why does this happen to me? I'm so lonely and I have no one to talk to. I don't want advice because nothing can make this better. I just want someone to agree that my friends are horrible because everyone else thinks they can do no wrong. I can't even make new friends and I've tried so many times.