I hate my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The Depressed Puppy, Apr 16, 2013.

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  1. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I hate my life, I hate myself.

    I want to die, I don't want to be alive. I hate my life. No one supports me, not my family, not my friends. I have no reason to live. I have came close to committing suicide, I have never did. I looked up methods, on how to kill myself. I have a method on how I'd do it.I'm tempted to kill myself, I want to.

    I also self-harm now, I have about nine times now.

    I don't deserve to live, to be here. I just annoy people, get there way, and waste there time. People would be better off without me
     
  2. Brokenness

    Brokenness Well-Known Member

    Hugs, I feel the same way Hun. Is there anyone you can reach out to?
     
  3. JuvenileF(_)ck(_)p

    JuvenileF(_)ck(_)p New Member

    This is exactly how i feel right now, the only one who supported me was my mom, and she died of a heart attack 3 days ago, and i'm pretty sure it was because of me, i'm in a group home right now, i dont know my dad. i'm an only child, all my other relatives are in bosnia, no one is here for me, i'm all alone in this world. i'm trying to look for some pills that i can overdose on with out too much pain before i die.
    i'm 16 years old, labeled as a "juvenile delinquent" the reason why i think my mom died because of me, is because i took her car about a week ago, i picked up some of my buddys and wen't to a party and got hammered, after the party me and my friends decided to go drifiting, i hit a car head on going about 45mph then hit a tree, one of my friends got ejected out the car and is in critical condition, life is nothing to me anymore. i just wanna die. i want an easy way out. i can't live with my self. i had to delete my facebook cause it was getting bombed by numerous people saying how i should kill my self, and that everything was my fault, i didn't mean for anything to happen like this ;( i haven't told any of my friends or anyone that my moms died, i just wanna leave this world. theres nothing too live for. I wish i wasen't wearing my seatbelt and got ejected out the car and instantly died.
     
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    BrokenButterfly and Brokenness it's good you're both able to vent on here. Try other things as well irl. We're all vulnerable on here and need all the help and support we can get to enable us to do the things needed to improve our lives and the way we feel.
     
  5. Husky

    Husky Well-Known Member

    Hi, I'm very sorry for how everybody is feeling. TheBrokenButterfly, I don't want you to kill yourself nor do I think you're annoying. It appears to me that you're trying to find someone who will understand you and be there for you. Sometimes I think people like that are very caring people and they should just be cared for the same. As Brokenness said, if you find someone you can reach out to, that would be good. However, there will always be people who will care even though it seems there isn't.

    JuvenileF, it sounds like your mother was great person. Someone you respect and had great admiration for. My question to you is what would your mother want? I never met your mother but would she want you to die? I wouldn't blame yourself for your mother's death either. People do far worse things than what you did. I think the fact that you loved your mother so much shows that you have a good and strong conscience. I hope you can see that because that it surely something to live for.

    Brokenness, I hope you can see what a special person you are too. You're in a bad position yourself and here you are offering support when it's easy to turn your back and say stuff you all. I hope you can see that fight and enormous character you have too. Theodora, thank you for invaluable input too.

    I wish you all the best and will think of you.
     
  6. Rkmnd

    Rkmnd Member

    BrokenButterfly, as Brokeness said, is there anyone you can reach out too, talk too? If not, are you in school, for a school counselor? What is your situation?

    Juvenile, I really can't sympathize enough for that story, you've been dealt a rather harsh hand...but, your mother supported you. She believed in you, and you didn't die. Take a deep breath, you didn't cause her to have a heart attack. Look at yourself, what can you do to turn your life around to how she wanted? Make this terrible tragedy into the moment that turned your life around, and started doing things that would of made her proud. From what you said, it's what she would of wanted. Good luck to both of you.
     
  7. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    Family,& friends,NO

    I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know.

    I just want to die, I don't want to prevent from doing it. I want to kill myself, it will be better off without me!
     
  8. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Do you have crisis number or mental health worker you can call regarding this or speak to your GP
     
  9. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    No, and I couldn't because(right now), I am at school.
     
  10. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Let your school know your feeling, tell a trusted teacher, please note if you under sixteen they legal duty to inform someone
     
  11. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    Well, I am 16. But I don't really want to tell anyone. I don't really have a "trusted teacher", I just can't trust anyone anymore.

    Not wanting to go through all the crap that happens when a teen is suicidal. It isn't worth telling anyone
     
  12. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    is there anyone you can trust?
     
  13. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member


    No,not really.
     
  14. The Depressed Puppy

    The Depressed Puppy Well-Known Member

    I'm just so tempted to kill myself. I want to die tonight, I just want to go so bad.
     
  15. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    Hang in there, butterfly. i was 15 when i attempted suicide, have been depressed and suicidal since about 2 years before that. i kind of know what you're going through, at least from what you have mentioned. do you want to explain why you feel that way, how it came to it?
     
  16. Husky

    Husky Well-Known Member

    Hi Butterfly, I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you well. If you want to explain why you feel the way you do and how you came to that feeling as Scarlettdrkness said, we want to listen. Take care.
     
  17. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Can you explain whats going on at the moment thats making you feel like this?
     
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