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I hate my life

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Desperation, Apr 23, 2007.

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  1. Desperation

    Desperation Member

    Hey. I just recently joined b/c I just really can't take it anymore. All I seem to want out of life anymore is to die. The thought of continuing to live honestly scares the hell out of me. I have just about every type of depression there is and no money for a psychiatrist, or medicine to treat any of my problems for that matter. I've been depressed ever since I was about 8, but it really started getting bad around the age of 12. Thats when my dad went insane. He has bipolar and manic depression, and more than likely, so do I. But as I said before, there's really nothing I can do about it. I hate most people around me, and not many people are that overly fond of me either. I probably shouldn't even be posting all of this garbage, but if I can't talk to people on suicide forum, who can I talk to? My life is so messed up. And I swear to God, I think I'm slowly going insane, or maybe quite rapidly, who knows? I can't seem to get along w/ anyone. I have trouble even being around other people. The only reason I am able to post this at all is b/c none of you guys know who I am and can't just lock me up in a nut house some place. I am severly paranoid, and feel as if everyone, including people in my own family want to get me. I know this is irrational, but it truly feels like they want to kill me or get rid of me. God, I am going insane, aren't I?
  2. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm not ignoring the first part of your post but I just wanna address some points you made.
    Firstly, yeah you SHOULD be posting this. You have as much right as anyone, and this is a place where anyone should be able to talk.
    And to be honest, it doesn't matter that none of us know who you are. Even if it were difficult for you to talk to any of us in real life, the internet is a great alternative way of talking.
    It sounds like you could do with some professional help, but if you can't afford it at the moment, then hopefully you can get some kind of help here. There are plenty of sections on this forum for you to talk about whatever you want to. :hug:
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni


    Welcome to the forum ^_^

    hope you find some support here

    Take care

    Vikki x
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. I am glad you found us and I hope we can be supportive to you and your issues. Your post was perfectly fine and I am glad you shared with us what you did. Maybe I will see you around the forum.. Take care. :hug:
  5. Desperation

    Desperation Member

    Thank you, for the welcome. I'm glad to have found a place where I can actually talk about this garbage. :smile: Hopefully I can find some sense of purpose, and maybe learn something from you guys.
  6. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hi, and welcome to SF :)

    Take care, and hope to see you around! :hug:

  7. Welcome to the forum, I'm glad that you are here. Whatever you do, do not give up hope. As for the professional help, are you in middle school, high school or college? Usually counselors are provided in those settings for free. I don't exactly know if there are professional therapists amongst our midst but perhaps there are people who are studying to be one. Or the general idea that there are people out there who will listen to you helps a lot too. We're here to help each other through this. Welcome, and if you don't mind, I would love to pray for you.
  8. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum Desperation.:smile: I does sound like you're going thru hell. Have you ever considered professional help? I'm diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and possibly bipolar. I'm seeing a shrink every two weeks and taking medication for it and believe me, it really helps. I hope you'll come here as often as you need, to vent your feelings so they don't blow up inside you and to get the support we so freely offer. We are not professionals here but since we all have our own problems, we are very good listeners and have a good understanding of the problems of mental illness.

  9. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I know how you feel. I don't think you're going insane hun. You most likely have a mental illness> not making you 'insane' it's ok and it's good that you realise you need help. About the money thing is hard, ut if you are at school or uni you can see counsellors for free or even tell your GP the issue and they can help. I hope SF helps you.
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni


    Welcome to the forum, sorry for the late welcome.. I hope you find this site helpful, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on so to speak or a friend just PM me or add me to MSN. :) :hug: Hang in there and stay safe, you aren't alone!

  11. charlemaine

    charlemaine Member

    Well, Desperation,

    I Really like the way you write. You have a nice way about it. It kept me interested and made me want to keep reading.

    Thanks for that.
  12. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF :hug:
  13. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF Desperation :hug:
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