I hate my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ToddMAdl, Jun 27, 2008.

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  1. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I'm just too scared to die ultimately. When I'm not thinking straight sometimes I think death is better than life but fortunately I'm not an impulsive person. I am torn between the fact that I hate my life and I think life generally sucks and I wish it would be better and my fear of death and the unknown. I think I'm a bit different from others in that I'm so scared to die because I am a pessimist and my pessimism tells me that there's nothing after life. I want there to be an afterlife. I don't want to just be nothing and then my life truly was worthless to me. I don't like the thought of when my loved ones and the things and people I care about will truly be gone, it makes me sad. It makes me even angrier to think about the scenario of nothing after life and that all I really had was this anything but utopia life. That thought makes me wish I wasn't born and I didn't have to go through any of this.

    BTW, I'm atheist because I went to a Catholic High School, just for the record.
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Firt of all what do you really know about death?
    I know many people believe in things blindly, as for myself i always do my best
    to check the things i believe in...
    For example death, some people say there is nothing after death
    but most of the people who had clinicly died, said thay saw things...
    Some say its illusion created by dieng brain or the drugs or whatever
    but there were EXPRETS who said that DEAD brain is completly dead
    there is no brain activity so we CANT see things... to see things the brain must be active, yet hes not, and still many people said thay saw things...

    Second of all, the fear of the unknown is natural and we all have it
    The hardest thing to do is to stand aginst our natural instincts
    But for some, evantualy we are able to force owrself to ignore such fealings
    and then we are free to finish our physicle excistance.

    In the end, you really should search for information as much as possible
    becouse blind believes is worthless
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have found that living life, as scary as it is, is a much better way to spend my time here...please continue to tell us what is going on for you; we are here to support you and care...big hugs, J
  4. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    I too am too scared to die but maybe that is because part of me knows there is a way to work through our difficulties and what if I died only to find that the answer what have come the next day. We are all here to give you a supporting hand through these troublesome times if you will let us.

    Keep posting and take care

  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Thing about it this way, would you rather be alive and still have a chance of having a better life filled with happiness or be dead and therefore be nothing.
    What we all strive for is a life full of joy and happiness, you can do this if you continue living.
  6. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i hear ya when you say you hate your life. honestly there are some things about my life i'm not too crazy about, but there are some things that bring me some happiness. it's those things that make life worth hangin' on to. i am here to tell you this is totally possible for you as well. i just hope you'll hang on and look for these times because they are out there. if they don't seem to be there at the moment they will come eventually they have to. anyways, please take care and stay safe. if you need someone to talk to and you don't want what you have to say to be for all eyes please most certainly feel free to pm me. take care
  7. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    A friend of mine is also an atheist having attended Catholic schools. A couple of other acquaintences who attended Catholic school call themselves non-practicing Catholics. I attended secular school, and turned out a Catholic. I don't think our culture favours a religious based education, thereby creating a conflict.
    If there is no life after death, then no harm spending a while longer chilling out on Earth. Get some silence, and listen. Forget what you've read in books/magazines, or what you've seen on TV/Cinema, or what you've heard on radio/music. Listen to yourself, that's your right as an individual.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008
  8. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I just think my life is so damn boring and annoying. I've been depressed for most of my life since I think I was about 5-6 years old. I just didn't know it yet but looking back I really haven't been happy since before that time. I hated school. I hated alot of kids I went to school with but I"ve never had a problem making friends. I also hated being stuck in that stupidass room or building for 6-7 hours a day from preschool up until this year (I just recently graduated from highschool). All my life I've gotten what I want, I've been spoiled as being the youngest of four kids and I've been able to do a lot of cool stuff since I was fortunate enough to have very nice, very good parents. It just means nothing to me. Nothing is satisfying. Everything is so boring. I've always wanted to do something fulfilling. I grew up wanting to be a professional athlete which won't happen and I had to grieve the fact years ago that it wasn't going to happen. I still think that would be fulfilling but it's merely another sad fantasy. There are many moments in my life that I am happy to have experienced but to me they are merely memories. Memories mean nothing to me, they just create nostalgia which in turn just makes me more sad. I don't really see my future as one of great opportunity but as something that may be better than now but still full of stress which in turn rewards you with nothing more than a more expensive funeral in the end.
  9. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    There are all kinds of belief systems, each having a concept of an afterlife or an absence of an afterlife. People in all of those systems (or faiths) live happy, fulfilled lives, regardless what they think about an afterlife. My point is that the two aren't necessarily connected. It's possible for anyone to live a good life. I am certain that everyone finds some aspect of their lives boring or meaningless or annoying. Most people learn to deal with it.

    I don't feel a need to reveal my belief on the afterlife subject. I think that you sound like an intelligent person who makes informed decisions. You might find it interesting to research (with an open mind) the different afterlife views. I say, "with an open mind" because you would enter your research with a bias based on your Catholic background. The Catholic view is similar to other views, but in many ways, unique.

    Just a few thoughts. I'm glad that you have an analytical mind because it is probably what will keep you alive, and will probably direct you to things that will give your life meaning.
  10. ToddMAdl

    ToddMAdl Well-Known Member

    I really am sick of how sad and depressing the world is. How can we have such a high suicide rate? Humans are the only animal that I can think of that can cognitively decide to end their own lives. I think this world is flawed which is why we have such a high suicide rate. Rather than thinking of suicide I've become bitter that I was born into this world in the first place. At this point in my life my opinion is that I would rather not be here. Ignorance is better than life. It's true I wouldn't have known my family,friends or dogs but that would be better than the eventual loss I will have to face if I live a full life. There's not a worse thought in my mind than the though of losing my mother and my dogs which I will have to face. When I think about that I think I would rather die before that happens because it sounds too crippling. That, and the thought of failing to achieve personal goals and dreams. My hobbies have never fulfilled me, I've always wanted more. I've always been unsatisfied with what I have. I'm also unsatisfied because I feel all alone in this depression. I want a woman by my side. I have plenty of female friends but only as friends. I've never really been in a relationship because honestly I'm terrible around women. I'm too introverted,depressed, I overthink and I have too much social anxiety around women, it's saddening and corrosive on my mental state. I just wish life had a remote control like on the movie click. Many times I'd just like to rewind or fast forward to better times. I would especially like to see if life really was worth living.
  11. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    actually, if rabbits think that their going to die they will
    to technically they can choose to die or not
    i wish it was that easy for humans..
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