I hate my life.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Liam94, Jun 4, 2011.

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  1. Liam94

    Liam94 Member

    I cannot stand my life right now. I've had a rough few months and I can't see it getting any better, I feel very low.

    My life is one big mess; my mum died when I was 11, I'm 17 years old. I used to live with my dad, but then he re-married and pushed me aside - just like everyone does.

    I can't take it any more, I just want to die. I can't cope with it all, I cut myself in order to feel alive but that isn't working anymore, I feel dead... Cutting has become a way of life to me. I've found it really hard to cope. I find it difficult to talk to anyone about how I'm feeling, I've got a close friend that I talk to and vent my feeling too - he knows it all. But, at present I'm even finding it hard to talk to him. I promised him I wouldnt self harm again, but it is just so hard to keep it, am I wrong to break that promise?

    I've come close to cutting again but I've stopped myself. However I feel at an all time low, where I want to end my life. I've come close to it but I have never been able to go through with it. But now I dont think i'll be able too.

    what can I do?
  2. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Hi Liam
    I am sorry you have no parental support, it doesn't make things very easy.
    But you are here now, in a place full of wisdom, caring and guidence, i have never had parental support either, just how it is sometimes i guess.
    Always had myself though, damn, have made tons of mistakes..............but im still here!
    There are people here, who have forgotten more about self harm than i shall ever know, perhaps if you search the forum you will find some answers to your questions. Seeeing how others tackle our own situations is a real help i think.
    I have spent too long worrying about the future...........im just beginning to work out thats its today that matters not tomorrow, its what i do now, thats what makes the next day better.
  3. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry for your loss of your mother as well as the fact your dad pushed you aside that isn't fair at all for you to grow up like that.

    I can only try to imagine having that kind of childhood, who do you live with now other relatives?

    Please do your best to avoid cutting by staying in the moment and finding anything to get enjoyment out of your life, TV, a movie, a book, focusing on a hobby of any type.

    You're still very young, there's ton's of hope for you in the future. Do you have a passion? If you haven't discovered one yet I suggest you trying many different things that way you can decide for yourself what you really like.

    Don't let your dad not treating you the way you deserve bring you down. I'm sure your mom loved you very much and although it may not seem like it I believe your dad does as well, you two just may not get along for whatever reason.

    Don't get me wrong I don't know the circumstances I don't want to upset you by coming off as defending your dad. I don't know him, or your relationship and you gave very little information on the subject in your post.

    Your dad for whatever reason may believe that you're better off living with relatives for the time being . I really hope you not living with him is some form punishment.

    Intellectualization a defensive mechanism may help you to avoid the pain emotional hardships you're dealing with. Try to use your imagination why your dad may have done what he did.

    If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM.

    Best wishes.
  4. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    This is very important all you can control is the current moment. Do your very best to not, think or worry about the past or the future and just get some enjoyment out of the current moment your in especially when you're feeling down about your life and how you don't have your parents. Don't blame yourself for the situation, you're not at fault here, remember that.

    Make good decisions don't be impulsive, plan ahead. Surround yourself with positive or lucky people whom you share similar interests. For example if you want to be a top body builder befriend and hang around with other top bodybuilders their knowledge will rub off on you, eventually you will become one of them.

    The same could be said if you want to become a millionaire hang around with other millionaires.

    This goes the other way as well. Let's say you get into the wrong lifestyle. You could be a very good person, even pure at heart. Eventually you assimilate and end up playing by the wrong rules(gang rules) and you could go down a very dark path.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2011
  5. Liam94

    Liam94 Member

    My dad doesn't bring me down - my whole family do. I live with my two brothers. I hate living here my whole family hate me. They don't care about anything i do, for example, they don't ask where I'm going if I go out, nor do they talk to me when I'm home. I feel out of place.

    My relationship with my dad is average at best. I see him once or twice a week but I hate every minute of it.

    Thank you all for the replies.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Liam, Have you sat your dad down and had a talk with him??I didn't talk to my dad for years...I also didn't attend christmas with the family for years because he would be there..I sat down with him after alll those years and it turned out that the only thing I had against him was a remark he made about my daughter..He caught me at a low when he said what he did..We get along fine now..So maybe you need to do the same..Tell him how you feel.. Don't hold that hate and resent ment in all it will do is festor..
  7. paddylad

    paddylad New Member

    Hi liam94,
    I know that all seems hopeless at the moment and life seems pointless, all the pain and suffering, well it's not meant to be like this.
    I am a born again christian and found out when i was 23 that God existed and had a plan for our life’s here on earth, i can only speak from my experience of life so far, when i was growing up everything seemed fine until my parents divorced when i was seven years old, i went absolutely wild, i just hated life, thought it was pointless and could see no hope for the future.
    i tried to commit suicide when i was 12 and thankfully failed but life just didn’t have anything to offer me, i hated it.
    I ended up going from bad to worse, taking drugs and alcohol to try and ease the pain of existence and get some sort of joy out of life.
    I first heard about God from two christian ladies, who told me that God was real and that he did exist and that sin had separated us from our God, and he sent his one and only son Jesus christ to reconcile us back to God to pay the price for all our wrong doing in life.
    I have had quite a rough life and just after i became a christian by asking God to forgive me for my sins and asking him to make himself known in my life both my parents died,
    First my dad then my mom which i hadn’t seen since i was seven, i was very angry but not with God, because he wasn't the one who took them away from me, he showed me that it was the devil that has brought death and destruction on this earth, God originally made this world perfect and man in it perfect, there was no death no diseases no hate no lying nothing that we know as bad and wrong, God designed us to be in perfect unity with him, but an angel in heaven was jealous of us and came and deceived us, and we rather obeyed him than God, that angel was called Lucifer who is now called Satan or the devil, he is the one that has brought division among us in this earth he is the one that kills he is the one that brings destruction in our individual lives, and that is because we let him.
    I didn't learn this overnight, it has taken me a long time to find the truth, everyone blames God for this and that, but there blaming the wrong person, God loves us so much it is indescribable, he loves you and to show you how much he loves you he gave his only son the lord Jesus Christ so that we could be reconciled back to him and have a living relationship with him.
    If anyone has a right to blame God for the wrong done to me in my life i have, my parents split when i was seven, i was taken away from my mum without her even knowing where we had gone, not even her best friends would tell her my dad had taken me away to London (i was living in Ireland at the time) it wasn't until a few years later my mom found out where we were i heard.
    Then when i had found the truth both my parents were taken away from me, and both by cancer, my brothers and sisters are all split up and no one wants to talk to the other because they all blame themselves.
    In my life i had tried to kill myself three times and failed (thankfully) now i know that there is a God and that he loves me and has a plan for my life here on earth and he also has a plan for everyone, but God will not force himself on anyone, he has given us a free will to choose.
    I am not saying life is easy, it is a hard road to travel and there are highs and there are lows, no one is perfect on this earth, everyone is at fault in one way or another. Suicide looks like an easy way out but it’s not, the effects it would have on friends and family are horrible, could you imagine if someone you really loved took their own life, how would you think you would feel, a 17 year old lad I knew hanged himself and his parents were so cut up it was horrible, the pain and suffering they went through I can’t even begin to imagine.
    Keep your chin up friend, all is not lost, there is hope and that hope is only found in Jesus Christ God’s son.
    I hope that this is helpful to you, and i wish someone would have shared with me what i am sharing with you, if you can find a bible believing church near you (you can find one on the internet) and listen to what God has to say about life, not what the world has to say, he will open your eyes to a better future.
    If this is helpful and you want to know more, let me know.
    John 3 v 16 -21 For God so loved the world (people) that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he (or she) has not believed in the name of God’s one and only son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men (mankind) loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come onto the light for fear that his (or hers) deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he (or she) has done has been done through God.
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