Hi liam94,
I know that all seems hopeless at the moment and life seems pointless, all the pain and suffering, well it's not meant to be like this.
I am a born again christian and found out when i was 23 that God existed and had a plan for our life’s here on earth, i can only speak from my experience of life so far, when i was growing up everything seemed fine until my parents divorced when i was seven years old, i went absolutely wild, i just hated life, thought it was pointless and could see no hope for the future.
i tried to commit suicide when i was 12 and thankfully failed but life just didn’t have anything to offer me, i hated it.
I ended up going from bad to worse, taking drugs and alcohol to try and ease the pain of existence and get some sort of joy out of life.
I first heard about God from two christian ladies, who told me that God was real and that he did exist and that sin had separated us from our God, and he sent his one and only son Jesus christ to reconcile us back to God to pay the price for all our wrong doing in life.
I have had quite a rough life and just after i became a christian by asking God to forgive me for my sins and asking him to make himself known in my life both my parents died,
First my dad then my mom which i hadn’t seen since i was seven, i was very angry but not with God, because he wasn't the one who took them away from me, he showed me that it was the devil that has brought death and destruction on this earth, God originally made this world perfect and man in it perfect, there was no death no diseases no hate no lying nothing that we know as bad and wrong, God designed us to be in perfect unity with him, but an angel in heaven was jealous of us and came and deceived us, and we rather obeyed him than God, that angel was called Lucifer who is now called Satan or the devil, he is the one that has brought division among us in this earth he is the one that kills he is the one that brings destruction in our individual lives, and that is because we let him.
I didn't learn this overnight, it has taken me a long time to find the truth, everyone blames God for this and that, but there blaming the wrong person, God loves us so much it is indescribable, he loves you and to show you how much he loves you he gave his only son the lord Jesus Christ so that we could be reconciled back to him and have a living relationship with him.
If anyone has a right to blame God for the wrong done to me in my life i have, my parents split when i was seven, i was taken away from my mum without her even knowing where we had gone, not even her best friends would tell her my dad had taken me away to London (i was living in Ireland at the time) it wasn't until a few years later my mom found out where we were i heard.
Then when i had found the truth both my parents were taken away from me, and both by cancer, my brothers and sisters are all split up and no one wants to talk to the other because they all blame themselves.
In my life i had tried to kill myself three times and failed (thankfully) now i know that there is a God and that he loves me and has a plan for my life here on earth and he also has a plan for everyone, but God will not force himself on anyone, he has given us a free will to choose.
I am not saying life is easy, it is a hard road to travel and there are highs and there are lows, no one is perfect on this earth, everyone is at fault in one way or another. Suicide looks like an easy way out but it’s not, the effects it would have on friends and family are horrible, could you imagine if someone you really loved took their own life, how would you think you would feel, a 17 year old lad I knew hanged himself and his parents were so cut up it was horrible, the pain and suffering they went through I can’t even begin to imagine.
Keep your chin up friend, all is not lost, there is hope and that hope is only found in Jesus Christ God’s son.
I hope that this is helpful to you, and i wish someone would have shared with me what i am sharing with you, if you can find a bible believing church near you (you can find one on the internet) and listen to what God has to say about life, not what the world has to say, he will open your eyes to a better future.
If this is helpful and you want to know more, let me know.
John 3 v 16 -21 For God so loved the world (people) that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he (or she) has not believed in the name of God’s one and only son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men (mankind) loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come onto the light for fear that his (or hers) deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he (or she) has done has been done through God.