Here's a little about me. I'm a 28yr old male. All my life I've had ups and downs. At the moment I only have $350 in the bank with no job. My bills are piling up. My phone is always full of collection agency's. I also think I've been to every restaurant and business in my town to ask if their hiring with no luck. Not even Mcdonalds was able to help me. Maybe I scare people because im so shy. To top it off I just finished nursing school a few months ago. I sent my application to take the nclex boarding exam but got a letter stating that I'm unable to take my Nclex board exam because of 2 incidents in my records(both of which I'm innocent of). So I wasted years and countless of hours studying hard for nothing and can't take the board exam to get my license. I also made good grades in all my nursing classes. More than half the class didn't even make it because it was so difficult. It's also been 6 months since I graduated and I will also have to pay my student loans starting next month....nevermind today's September 1 so starting this month. * I was so happy after I finished nursing school thinking my life would be fixed as soon as I got a nursing job. I hate my miserable life and wish I could end it. The only thing that stops me from committing suicide is 2 things. My parents are also a low income family struggling. If I kill myself they will inquire cemetery costs which I looked up are quite expensive. The second thing that stops me is a loan which my mother cosigned for me. Guess what happens if I die? She will be responsible for those payments. I also know it will hurt them greatly. My grandmother also died recently so if I die that would be an even bigger burden for my mother. Also just to add to my miserable life I'm a virgin. Never even had a girlfriend because I'm too shy. To be honest I'm not even ugly just an average guy. I'm also quite intelligent. I also go to church every week since birth. I do countless of prayers and starting to think god has forgotten me. I'm a good person that never does anything bad. The only bad thing I remember doing is stealing a candy from store when I was like 7. WOW what a crime. I sometimes browse google for sad pictures in hopes to see if others have it worst than me. I found one of a young boy in Africa crawling in search of food while a bird awaits for him to die to eat him. *I also saw a picture of a young pretty girl that had acid poured on her face an now looks horrible and is blind. Well I would do anything in the world to switch places with either of them. Well that's my story. I just can't decide whether I should continue my life because all the problems my suicide will bring to my parents or just to forget everyone and do what I think is best for me, to end my life. Oh and did I mention I can't even sleep at night for days, if not months ?