I hate my mind!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by trinisty, Feb 19, 2015.

  1. trinisty

    trinisty Well-Known Member

    Here we go again, ANOTHER SUICIDAL THOUGHT! Gosh, why is it so hard to get rid of it?

    I really hate my mind, my twisted mind. I feel like I have 2 souls living inside me, one is normal, and the other is a freaking devil who ruins my life for years! I hate that devil. I can't concentrate on studying, I can't feel love, I always feel sad, it ruins me. Every time there's a motivation coming in, it always ruins it by adding some kind of sick statements. Why is it so hard to get rid of it? It keeps me want to kill myself, even though I know my normal part of mind is always say "don't listen to that jerk". That freaking demon mind is always making me guilty, annoys people, making me feel bad. That demon ruined my last relationship, ruined my friendship with my best friend, and now it is ruining my entire life! It's so hard to feel motivated with this situation. Suddenly my dream to become a psychiatrist went away. For many years I've been dreaming to become a psychiatrist, and I will be one.

    I don't hate my life, nor myself, nor everyone around me. I hate my own mind, my twisted devil son of a b*tch mind. I will kill you, you'll see.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi trinisty,

    wow you want to be a psychiatrist you brain box, at least you have that going for you, I can understand you finding it hard to concentrate but keep trying and fighting. Are you seeking any type of professional help? Sorry you are in distress.