And I hate my fucked-up life. This is probably the lowest I've been in a couple of weeks. I feel really bad for posting this, too, because it feels like I should be taking care of myself, or talking to my therapist. But it's one am, and I'm crying my eyes out, and my thoughts won't leave me alone. There's too much going on, and I can't deal. It sucks that I feel like dying is the only real way out.