I hate my ***** sister and myself

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by JonathanK, Sep 12, 2009.

  1. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    I was at my sisters for a few weeks, and she let a fugitive stay at her, by brother in law, and nease and nephew's house. He skipped out on his court date for child support and gave some sob story about how the kid wasn't his and how if he got 500 dollars, he'd be able to get a lawyer to get him out of it. I'm sure it was his, though. He's one of those jackasses that decides to take his kids out for a night after not seeing them for several years, plays daddy, and pretends nothing ever happened to rid himself of his own guilt. My sister was ready to sell my brother in law's Boflex weights to bail him out. He was probably gonna take the money and just run to Georgia or some shit. He's my brother in law's brother in law's brother. Anyway, my sister was telling me I should do something with my hair, and the dude said that he could cut it and that he was experienced in cutting hair. I told him to even out the bottom and to dye it black. Anyway, the numb nuts grabbed the center section of my hair and trimmed down the middle of my scalp. I asked him what the fuck he was doing. Then he said, "Oh, I'm layering it". I then told him that I didn't ask for that. He told me it would look good when he was done. I ended up looking like a chick with a bald patch of hair. That asshat was obviously entertaining himself at my expense and fucking with my identity. I wanted to kill the guy. I ended up having to chop it all off. I asked him what he was aiming for, and he told me he was trying to give me an emo hairdo. I told him that I hated that style of music and dress. He's 30 and knows what emo is. That's fucking pathetic. He's a stupid, compulsive lying, tweaker that listens to Holywood Undead and gangsta rap music. Anyway, I hate this lame ass, preppy hairdo. My sister told me I look better with short hair. I want to kill them both.

    My brother in law told me that she was offering to sell my full stack, Peavey, bass amp to his cousin for 150 dollars. She does not act like a pothead at all, and she has a xanax addiction. She is not cool! I fucking hate her, and I will disown her if she sells my shit. I bought an 11 inch bowl for 19 dollars while I was there, and she told me she was gonna mail that back to me, but I'm pretty sure she gave that away. Fuck, a couple of years ago, she even gave away my 1/2 ounce when I only smoked a couple bowls out of it. She told me she's pay me back but she never did. The guy she gave it to got drunk one day, took my brother in law's Jeep on a joy ride without their permission, and wrecked it. She does this shit to make herself look generous to her friends and expects me to forgive her for her klepto behaviour because I'm her brother. I will totally disown her if she sells my bass amp. I swear! I will hold a mock funeral, as some Muslims and Buddhist communities for family members that convert to another faith. If she calls me up 10 or 20 years down the road for anything, I will answer, "who's this? Oh, Sandy? That's a very sick joke, because my dear sister, Sandy, has been dead for 15 years. If you hooligans don't stop it, I will track your number and report you to the police", and then slam the phone down.

    She's really unstable. The first week, she tried to get out of work by acting crazy and ended up in a nut ward for a week. She let a fugitive stay at the house and made me tell him to leave as if it was my idea. She asked me to not take my weed on the plane as if she had some genuine concern for me, then she turned around and vaped it with her friends that very night. She even dissed it. She asked if she could bum some weed off of me a few days before that, and I gave her a few bowls of that same stash, and she replied "This weed is shit. I'm gonna go buy some more". She gave me a clay angel before I left for the airport and said, "we had a fun time, right?" I answered, "yah it was fun". I want to call her back and break that angel on a hard surface and yell at her, "I didn't have a good fucking time. I fucking hate you you fucking ***** and this angel you gave me is tawdry and ugly and now in pieces if you didn't hear it shattering against the pavement!" Why do I call her a *****? I call her that, because she probably cheated on my brother in law too. She is such an asshole that it makes me want to vomit. I feel like calling her up and telling her what a despicable **** she is. She is pushing me to the limit, and if she sells my amp, I will absolutely snap. I talked to my brother in law again more recently, and he said he overheard her talking to someone about how much she could get for the amp. ...and she still sold my brother in laws weights, and kept the money for herself. She's a selfish fuck! She probably used it to buy a bunch of xanax. Its weird. She's on it all the time and would forgot real basic things she had told me just three minutes before. "Oh did I show you my new tattoo" "Yes, you showed it to me like a minute ago"

    Anyway, I hate myself for having such angry feelings of rage against my own sister and letting myself be stepped on. I'm not assertive. I just don't see the point, but then losers like her step all over me. I hate how she nitpicks. She kept telling me ways about how I should improve myself. Its as if she's insecure about herself, so she wants to point flaws out in someone else to make her feel good about herself at someone else's expense. She notices the speck of dust in my eye but fails to notice the big fucking log in her own. A lot of people do that. Those people are dick heads by definition. She treats me like I'm still her dorky little brother. I hate her so much. I have so many negative feelings about everything, and I bottle it up inside. When someone pisses me off, I just hold it in. Then I regret it, because I notice how it empowers their ego to be able to fuck with someone who they see as weaker than them. I'm tired of that pathetic game that so many ass holes play. It makes me want to take a razor blade, slash my wrists, paint "fuck you all" in my own blood across a wall, and blow my brains out all over the room with a shotgun.
  2. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    Other words and phrases for the word that got blocked out are prostitute, slut, floozie, tramp, harlot, unfaithful to her wedding vows, a disgrace to her husband and children, etc. The word I used starts with 'w'. You get the idea. It makes me sick and adds to other negative feelings that contribute to my suicidal ideation.
  3. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    I feel really harsh and crude saying all this, but these are real thoughts going through my head. Its obviously not healthy, and that's why I decided to tell someone.
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't have to keep those thoughts all bottled up. I think that just makes the thoughts stronger, and makes you angrier.

    Is there any way you can get your bass out of her house so she can't sell it?

    I don't blame you for being pissed. I would be too. Try not to be so angry with yourself. You're just having a normal reaction to someone treating you really badly. She has no right to walk all over you like that.
  5. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    Yah they're over in Indiana, and I'm in Arizona. I just need to get my brother in law to take them to my other sister's house and leave them there until I can get them shipped. It sucks though. The only reason I left it at her house is because Sandy has way more space than my other sister, Karen. Sandy lives in a two Story house with a basement. Karen lives in a single wide next to her mother in law. They may be able to leave it in her mother in law's house. Its pretty big, being that she's widowed. My amp and cabs might smell like cats when I get them shipped, but at least I'll still have them. lol
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Yeah really. No matter what they smell like, at least you know you'll still have them!