I hate myself and I want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WayTooAngryWithMyself, May 28, 2010.

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  1. I hate my life.


    Every thing is spinning around in my head, It keeps me awake at night.

    I don't even know what to say.

    I'm sick of this shit.
     
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    What about your life do you hate?? Like, I know you might say everything, but could you list some things for us to try to help you with??

    I know it can be hard to oranize your thoughts when you feel like this. Your mind will start raceing with millions of thoguhts from past and present, and sometimes future events.

    It's okay if it comes out in a jumble. Just take your time. We're here to help.

    -Rachel
    I'm just a PM away if you need to talk.
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I know that spinning feeling well...
    welcome to SF...
    I hope you'll stay and tell us a bit more about yourself...
     
  4. Hello Rachel

    Well, first of all is my intelligence, I have an I.Q in the hight 80s/low 90s, I cant spell, I cant punctuate, I cant do maths.
    I have problems with abstract though, I'm not even 100% oof what abstract thought is, but I think I kind of do..
    I cant get any creative ideas, I want to do art, but I squandered all my talents when I was younger, and now I'm nearly 21 years old, and I'm not good at anything, and I'm just plain dumb, I cant read, reading is a daunting nightmare to me.
    I'm sure reading a book to most people is entertainment, but to me it is a constant challenge.
    I just gave up on anything that requires brain power years ago, because it was no use, and the older I get, the more I realize what a talentless moron I am.
    Most people try to console me and say "Your not dumb", but trust me, the more you get to know me, the more you will see, but you will be too polite to tell me.


    I'm too shy, and I can't hold myself in confrontation, confrontation leads to violence, and that terrifies me, which is bad because I'm male and I'm 6ft4, and big gorilla looking.
    But I'm a pussy, I'm too dumb to argue, I usually get my ass handed to me in an argument because I'm too dumb for it, but people scare me, and intimidate me, because I'm not in their level of intelligence or life experience, I'm a total recluse too.

    There is more, but my head is throbbing right now, I cant think straight!
     
  5. I worry too much about everything too
     
  6. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    It's totally fine. Being stupid can suck. I'm sorry, I wouldn't know how that feels. Uhm, well. You can always get back into being taught. They have reading classes for adults.

    If I can help in any way, let me know :hug:
     
  7. Doesn't matter, I have been back to school, failed, I'm sick of it tbh.

    I'm not committing suicide yet, I'm in the last couple of weeks though, I just need to do a couple of things before I hang myself, I wanted to vent, but I'm not smart enough to get my words out.

    Sorry to waste your time.
     
  8. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    You are in no way wasting my time...

    I would like to say don't do it, but I'm sure you could care less what I say about that right now. Don't school. That's fine. You don't need to be "smart" to speak and express yourself.
     
  9. I have just proven I am..
     
  10. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm sorry...
     
  11. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Because I can't help much... I just don't want you to do it...
     
  12. I go in and out of suicidal moods.
    They have just become more frequent and stronger, I just don't think it will be long until I'm 100% suicidal.

    Don't blame yourself if I do.
     
  13. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Lol.. I blame myself for everything... It's not worth it... It's not worth it hun. I swear.
     
  14. Can you explain why?

    I bet you cant without spouting a load of bollocks about "How wonderful and amazing existence is", or worse, jesus.
     
  15. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    It just gets better. Eventually. Yeah, possibly a long as time, but it's worth the wait. I swear it is.
     
  16. I'll see how it goes.

    Doesn't look very good, stupidity is permanent.
     
  17. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    So what... brains isn't everything.... Just saying..
     
  18. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    They aren't. A lot of people have no smarts and get places. Look at Paris Hilton. And some models... It's how it is.
     
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