i dono, it's not like i'm actually going to kill myself anytime soon. so maybe it's shitty of me to be making a thread. i've really wanted to die for many years, and have been thinking about it a lot for a few weeks. i don't actually have a whole lot to say, and it's not like anyone else can make me feel better. that's one of the worst things, everything's so fucking hopeless. trapped in my own screwy head and i can't even top myself to get out. i can drink a lot, and i do, and every now and then i take something else which is great for a night. but it leads nowhere and i just seem to feel shittier and shittier. i'll just drink and play video games and try to keep myself from thinking, and come on here perhaps and type stupid junk that nobody should care about. it'll go on and get slowly worse until perhaps i finally get the balls to cut my head off. or perhaps i'll get sconned in the back of the face with a fist sized meteorite and my head will explode and i won't have to worry about this anymore. so what now, what a fucking waste of time.