I hate myself far too much.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ButterflyEffect, Jan 11, 2013.

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  1. I am a young girl. I have had shit go down in my life, like everyone does, expect somehow worse. Now I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm grateful for the good things I've had, I really am and I can tell you now I wouldn't have said this two years ago. That's what I'm scared of, I'm going back to the person I used to be. A drug and alcohol abusing, self loathing, suicidal freak. And I'm not above the age of 19.
    I don't know why I hate mysel so much. I can't take it, I've been feeling extremely suicidal for about 6 months but lately, it has got a lot worse. My boyfriend and I have had a lot of problems and I don't know what to do, I love him so much. I know it sounds silly, not even 19 and in love? Yeah, okay. Well say whatever you want but I am, we have been together for 3 years and he's helped me a lot but we are drifting and I'm scared.
    I would very much like to die. A lot, actually. There is so much more to my pathetic excuse for my bullshit life but I couldn't fit it all on this one thread.
    I'm just looking for some help and support I guess. I don't want to have counselling. I trust it more when you have no idea who am, and I have no idea who you are. I can open up more. I need help. I'm crying out for it but no one can hear me.
     
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Feel free to drop me a line any time,

    Much love.
    C.
     
  3. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    firstly, love knows no boundaries. it has basically nothing to do with age [or well maybe if you were a toddler, it would be slightly odd], so i think nobody has a right to tell you what you feel, your feelings are your own.
    secondly, i'm sure there are things you dislike about yourself, maybe one [/some] of these has gone to excess? that could make you hate yourself, tho indeed it can be in your subconsciousness if you don't make it clear to youself. maybe it is something that can be eased/fixed.
    also if you ever want to ask me something or just want to talk, feel free to leave me a message or talk to me on chat if i'm there.

    take good care of yourself,
    EijiSama~
     
  4. Thank you, both of you.
     
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