I hate myself becasue I can't get myself to jump. I have been on many roofs, and I can't jump. I feel like a wuss. I real man would jump. I don't feel like a real man. I feel like I'm hurting people just by staying alive. I feel I would be a good man if I jumped. Voices are telling me things that I don't belive, they are telling me things that I like when I know I don't like those things, inside I feel like I'm being torn apart because the voices are telling one tale, and my brain is telling an other. Why can't I jump, becasue of my mother, I hate my mother for keeping me alive. How can I like something when it's result is pain, maybe I'm sick? Maybe there is something wrong. The voices just keep telling me you like this? You like this? I tell them no, it's like somebody kicking your head, and then they say, oh you like that, it's ok that you like that. I feel realy weak and I'm sorry that I'm alive.