I have done so many unforgivable things in my past to people that I loved. they hurt just so I could relieve some stress. They let me put them down so that I could feel good. They let me hurt them so that I could feel okay. But i didn't realize that these things weren't okay!! I thought I was doing something right for once!!! They ended up leaving me for somebody better than me in every way and i don't even get a drop of attention or affection out of them EVEN THOUGH I have devoted my own life to making it better... but I dont deserve it. They dont care if i wake up dead in the morning...and frankly, neither do I.