I've hated myself since I was around 8 years old and I'm 25 now. I've been on Cymbalta for about 7 months, and it has helped until recently. When I first started hating myself I would cut. Then it evolved into starving myself. I have grown out of these phases. Now self deprecating thoughts plague me the majority of the time. I started school in August and already I want to quit. It has been my dream all my life to be a doctor, but my thoughts are ruining that progression. I constantly tell myself I'm useless, I'll never amount to anything, I'm disgusting, worthless, ugly, scum of the earth, etc. I know my thoughts are irrational, but I can't stop them. I'm hypersensitive and blame myself for things that are out of my control. I feel that I don't deserve anything good in my life; that if I quit school, my dreams will be crushed, and I deserve that. I have an essay due tomorrow, which I'm not writing because part of me wants to fail the class so I can in turn fail at my dreams. Nuts, I know. If I could kill myself I would.