Please
don't pick at it
make sure not to overmedicate with harsh drying topical lotions, etc.
you've tried accutane and it didn't work?? that surprises me but if so, maybe you might have some sort of overproductive sebaceous gland (too much oil being produced in your oil glands). if you can, see an endocrinologist (doctor that studies your endocrine system/functioning of your glands and hormones ).
you're young. don't feel bad about it, plenty of us have horrible conditions that we have to live with as best we can. I had acne for a number of years but it disappeared, guess I'm lucky. I still have mad physical and mental situations that need to be medicated on a daily basis.
As far as what to put and not to put on your skin, the best thing is not to put harsh chemicals on it at all, because that irritates you. Cetaphil makes a facial cleanser that is totally non irritating- but my personal favorite is clean and clear facial cleanser for sensitive skin. Mix the cleanser with a little bit of baking soda and exfoliate your face (gently!) a couple times a week, no more... this is inexpensive and won't cause allergic, reddened or drying reactions on your face.
most importantly don't scar it by picking and scraping, I know this is hard but there is a difference between "popping" the gross white ones and scraping and digging until there is skin damage. acne scars are much harder to get rid of than acne itself- the acne will go away eventually (you're only 23?) but scars are very persistent.
even if you do have skin damage there is hope, through microdermabrasion, a procedure done at almost all skin therapy spas and places where they give facials. for severe scarring there are more clinical facilities to tackle deep tissue scaring. and I've heard that neutrogena makes a line of scar-dissapearing post-acne skin resurfacing products that work really well....
its got to be a hard situation, this acne, for you. I'm sorry it makes you feel bad about yourself but I tried to help and offer other solutions, I don't know if you've tried everything but I've seen all of the above work to great benefit of myself and others....dont mean to go on and on but I felt sad when I read your words.