I hate myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mordeci, Sep 12, 2010.

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  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    On top of the aformentionted title others don't seem to like me that much either. My life is falling apart the friends that I thought I made are slowly abadoning me, school is becoming hectic and unmaingable (even though I am not sure I even want to be in th is school), my weight issue is spiariling out of control, my family can't deal or dosen't seem to care about my problems, nothing is going right. I am past the point of considering ending my life, as of right now I plan on ending my life very soon. There will never be anything resembling hapiness in my life, ever, ever, and honestly I am sick of trying, I just want it all to be over with.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    how do you know there will be no happiness in your life You cannot see into the future around a corner a bend. Your depression you sadness will end it will you just to fight it out again with new meds all the time new meds coming out. new therapies. You need to do what it is that you want to do not what others expect of you. Chose what it is that will bring you the happiness you search for and go after it okay just do it
     
  3. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I am tired of fighting it, I am working on probably the third diffrent diagnosis in as many years, if not more. I just want it all to go away and there is only one way to do that.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know okay i do i want to leave as much as you everday fight the pain fight the dam sadness try to stay sane. If you cannot fight this fight alone then get help okay until you can see light again get help go in to emerg hospital call crisis you don't have to fight alone let someone else do that for you. Who cares what the title is they give you YOU are YOU and inside you is a special being a caring soul dont give up on that person okay get help now
     
  5. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I am tired of fighting, nobody around me will miss me, my death will just be another statstic, I really just want to let it all go.
     
  6. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Im going asky and not being funny at all......you say nobody around you will miss you......is that really significant? I mean if somebody DID miss you, would that solve or alleviate the problem?

    I'm just curious Moderci, of all the variables in your life, which is weighing on your shoulders the most? Surely we can't have all our problems be fixed at the same time but which one do you feel pushes you to the edge of wanting to go?
     
  7. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    It just would have been nice to have been wanted by somebody, anybody, it wouldn't solve any problems but a shoulder to cry on would be nice.

    What is weighing me down most is a tie between school and social life or lack there of, I can't seem to get motivated for school I am quickly falling behind and socially no one wants anything to do with me. So in the two main aspect of my life I have nothing.
     
  8. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    I know this sounds pretty lame but you are surrounded here by many who relate to you on so many levels and I (we) are certainly here for you.....we are all struggling [together] Granted it's not real life, but we do give a damn about what your thinking and how you feel...it's not easy...it feels hopeless and the change for the better never comes fast enough......

    Not undermining your struggles at all but I have met many people who were in their collegiate studies and felt or actually sacrificed their entire social life to accomodate their studies. I know you know this already....it's overwhelming.

    Have you discussed with your professors about falling behind? Perhaps if school studies are falling behind, couldn't you first get that under control of some sort and then start standing back and work on your social endeavors? You know what I mean? Getting things under control doesn't mean you have to like it but just organized and managed so you can breathe better and think clearly.

    For the [now] you can lean on us whenver or however....just a bit of something for [you].
     
  9. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Your right about getting my studies under control, school comes first, I am just tired of being left out of the crowd for so long you know, I can't tell my professors in this school they see it as a sign of weakness so its kind of up to me besides I am falling behind from lack of trying not because I dont understand the work.
     
  10. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Everyone has value, everyone is special. I know it's awful to have poor self-image. If you look around this site you'll find many people have that problem. It's a terrible thing. You need to love and accept yourself, do positive things for yourself that build you up. There is light at the end of the tunnel and the way towards it is to do things to improve yourself and your self esteem. You can change your opinion of yourself, you can reinvent yourself - you just have to believe you're worth the effort.
     
  11. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    That speaks for itself when you are falling behind because of not trying rather than lack of understanding......which means "you know your sh*t...you just ain't doing it...." ;-) Since the social aspect take a little creativity....why not get studies at a marginal status and then start incorporating more social ideas and/or social activities. It's hard to fix things when we allow other things to fall apart.....

    Hint: When it comes to winning socially, remember rule #1 People love to talk about themselves.
     
  12. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    It's just that it is very difficult I have no intution as to wether or not people like me or not, most cases I need it spelled out for me. Also this isn't the first time it happened I was in school in 08 and the exact same thing that is happening now happened before and it took me over a year to recover. It's just so frustrating because life is so easy for other people, it dosen't seem fair, no justice in this world.
     
  13. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    People like what's good for them. If you are a confident person they like you because they like what you can do for them. If you're not a confident person they don't like you because you're not useful. Sitting around worrying if people like you is terrible, useless emotional drain. You have to focus on yourself and doing what's right for you. If you start feeling better about yourself the rest will come.
     
  14. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    Honestly, many miserable people...but why depend on what they think....what 'bout what u think of them...having self authority attracts people.

    truthfully, years ago i practiced interacting with people at the stores to get socially comfortable....just focusing on that moment and doing small talk. Practice on them....it's available and free...seriously
     
  15. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    It' just all seems too much, the few people I thought I made friends with now seem to want nothing to do with me, and even though I wasn't really fond of them myself, it was the principle of the thing. I need to start doing my school work immeditly before I fall behind way to far, and like I said I don't even know if I like school, I mean the orginal people are already pratceing and it just dosen't intrest me.
     
  16. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    The days are all seeming to blur togerther and everything is getting worse, I don't know what else to do or how much more I can take. Socially I am an outcast, I am falling further and further behind in school, and I can seem to care less and less as the days go on.
     
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