I Hate Myself!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by srs, Sep 30, 2006.

  1. srs

    srs Member

    my life feels like a big ball of shit !!!! I keep asking my self what did I do to deserve this!!!! why, why me . WHY CANT I BE NORMAL. I HATE MY FRIENDS TO THEY ARENT EVEN MY FUCKING FRIENDS ,THEY ARE A FUCKING LIE , THEY ARE THE FUCKING DARKNESS IN MY LIFE THEY JUST DONT GET ME !!! NOBODY DOES ANYMORE! I only have one friend right now who knows everything about me , a real friend shes the only real friend I have, SHIT I dont even know if I can trust her to I dont even trust my self!!.




    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





    I FEEL LIKE KILLING MY SELF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Welcome :)

    Sounds like you're going through a tough time right now .... why not tell us what got you to this point ?

    How about telling your friend how you're feeling - it sounds like she is your rock right now :)

    Take care

    Joe
     
  3. srs

    srs Member

    when I told her about my fucking problem she didnt know what to say she hugged me though and said that it was going to be alright but its not its getting worse !! u probably wounder whats wrong with me .. well Im bulimic, I cut myself and Im having suicidal thoughts and they are killing me. I know that Im going to try to kill myslef it is just a matter of time
     
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dear srs;

    Please don't kill yourself. Please.:sad: I struggle with those feelings too, every day, but I won't give in to them. I come here a lot to rant and rave and foam at the mouth about my problems. When I feel worthless it really helps me to go on by coming here and telling my friends here how I feel. I ALWAYS feel better by letting it out and the loving caring responses reassure me that I am loved and worthy of my life.:smile: I know it can get unbearably bad, my life often feels like shit too, but I have kids to think about and lots of pets who would miss me, so I stick around. Please stay and talk to us. I can't be there in person but I DO care about you.:smile:

    sending you love and hugs and hope, lots of hope for better days,

    love,

    least

    Is counseling and/or medication a possiblity? I have both and feel that they're a lifesaver. The counseling allows me to let out my feelings to a professional and the meds keep me from leaping off a tall building. Please consider these two forms of help if you haven't already.
     
  5. srs

    srs Member

    I have been thinking about getting help but Im so afraid , what if they tell my parents .... that would ruin everything they would hate me more then they already does . my parents always blame me if somthing goes wrong in our family god I hate them somtimes I wish I never was born. But anyway thank u for writing to me it means alot to me that someone cares
     
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I DO care:smile: - please seek help for the sake of your worthy soul! They may not have to tell your family if you ask them not to. Please do what is necessary for your well being - I CARE!!:smile: :smile:

    least
     
  7. srs

    srs Member

    I know that they will becouse if u tell them that u are suicidal they have to informe the parents .. I Know a friend who went to counseling and told them that she is cuting her self and that she is having suicidel thoughts and they imediatly contacted her parents and now everything is worse in her life and Im not gonna let that happen to me ...:sad:
     
  8. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just don't tell them that you're suicidal, tell them that you're horribly depressed and anxious. Emphasize that you feel your family to be just another problem (in how they'd react to your getting help) and perhaps they would not have to inform your parents. Do you have another trusted adult/relative who you would trust with the knowledge of your getting help? They may feel they have to contact an adult/adult relative if you're under a certain age. If you had another adult relative/contact person maybe it wouldn't be necessary to tell your parents. Please try. I do care!:smile: :smile:

    love,

    least
     
  9. srs

    srs Member

    I wish I hade someone to trust but theres none.... I dont know what to do anymore