I Hate Myself

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by emotional_girl, May 26, 2011.

  1. emotional_girl

    emotional_girl Well-Known Member

    I hate myself! I am worthless, useless, no good for anything. I feel like I am just taking up space in this world and not contributing anything.
    I can't do anything right. My mother told me that all of my life until she died 4 years ago, and she was right. She even told me that on her death bed. Shortly before she died she looked at me and said "You can't do anything right!" And she was right.
    I hate myself!
     
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I don't think she was right. You are still here and you can still live. And you can make something of yourself. Even the simple things we do in life can make a difference. Giving someone a smile, wave, saying hi, or thank you. All those things people really appreciate and can make a difference. They do more good then most people realize and you don't have to be the most intelligent person in the world, or hold the most awesome job in order to contribute. You aren't worthless. Everyone has equal value. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

    :hug:

    Don't give up. Stay here and come talk to us! Maybe we will all learn from each other and make a difference in each others lives. :)
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    God,that's awful. I also don't think she was right. That was a horrible thing of her to say to you. :hug:
     
  4. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Your mother was wrong about you.

    being your mother and saying it on her death bed doesn't add any value to her faulty belief.

    She was your mother and you loved but her words were the result of a personality defect.

    My mother used to say mean things in order to hurt me.She told me so many times that she wished I'd never been born that it began to lose all meaning.
    I am only sad that you never got to the point where this particular statement lost it's hurt and shock value.

    You can do right.You've done right by posting this.
    You've done right by being brave enough to put this out in the open,by confronting this wrong the best way you can.
    You shouldn't hate yourself,you're just as lovable as everyone else is. :)
     
  5. emotional_girl

    emotional_girl Well-Known Member

    Thank y'all so much for caring enough to post those replies for me.

    Dragon Blood, it makes me feel a lot better being told that things like smiling or waving at someone could make a difference. Nobody's ever told me that before and I guess I never thought about it.

    Inmemoryofyou, thank you for your kindness.

    Nomoneytoplease, I'm so sorry that your mother told you she wished you were never born. Wow, that had to have hurt really bad. I'm so sorry you had to endure that.

    I really appreciate all of you. Your kind words really means the world to me.
     
  6. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    Your mother was wrong :(
    everyone has value and someone like you who has been through so much deserves so much credit. can't do anything about how your mum treated you but i hope we can help you get through the tough times.
    *big hug*
     
  7. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    Not 100% true.

    You Emotional_Girl have value and should live.
    But not everyone has value, I do not.

    Everyone can do something right (except for me), you should try and discover what it is you excel at.
     
  8. emotional_girl

    emotional_girl Well-Known Member

    Thank you , Monoka, for your kindness.

    Prof. Bruttenholm, I feel like I should say something to you to help you, but I honestly don't know what to say, for fear that I might say the wrong thing with the best of intentions. I tend to do that a lot (another reason why I feel like I can't do anything right). All I can think of to really say is...if I have value, you most certainly do too. I don't know how much help that will be, but that's all I could think of to say.

    Obviously posting on this forum is helping me because, although I still have feelings of wanting to die EVERY day, it's been about a week or so since I have felt it strongly enough to be in danger of actually doing anything. I usually have those feelings every couple of days or so, if not every day, so going a week without those feelings is wonderful for me! I don't know if it's actually getting my feelings out that's helping (can't tell my feelings to people that I actually know because the only one who knows I'm suicidal is my husband, and I'm scared to really vent to him because he gets upset when I do), or if it's the amazing support I've been getting from the people here when I do post, or maybe a combination of both that's helping me feel better, but whatever it is, it's working.
     
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I think all of us here probably deal with these same feelings. Your mom was wrong though. With me, it was my Dad who put in all those negative ideas about myself. And my Dad was wrong! All of our parents who put us down were wrong! They were just doing what their parents did to them. They didn't know any other way. But they are most certainly wrong, and you are most certainly deserving of love, and you should love yourself, because you are unique and beautiful!
     
  10. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    What a horrible thing for your mom to have told you.
    You're not worthless. You're not a waste either.
    You are worthy and beautiful.
     
  11. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    You're worth everything.
     
  12. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    ugh, this makes me sad. i kinda recognize this. same has been done to me, guess how i feel years later. my selfesteem is skyhigh (NOT) and i feel like i can take on the world (NOT). your mom hasnt been a very good parent has she, who is the failure here ? obviously your mother and not you. she brainwashed this inside your head while you where still young. seems like you have heared nothing but negativity. im sorry for you, i do know how this feels and it sux