I hate myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Crashland, Nov 30, 2011.

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  1. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    It sounds so stupid but I really do.

    In Feb this year I managed to get a partner of some sort. It was horried and didn't last long. Now they are with someone else.

    I'm not jealous at all; I really do not miss the person. What gets me down is the fact that even this third-rate idiot didn't spend much time mourning me; they are happily on the dating scene again. Apparently, getting involved with someone already.

    While me - I can't get over anything.

    I so understand those who just get a gun and start shooting randomly and finally kill themselves.

    I so understand it!
     
  2. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    Well if you weren't that into each other then why would u want the other person moping about after you? That would be worse, you would feel guilty then. Feeling guilty is terrible. I wouldn't recommend it. I do understand though, that lookin back on relationships can be a headwreck.

    As for shooting people, I am sure that plenty of people are spree killers in their heads!!! I think about smacking people with spades when I'm out of sorts, but I would not do it!! I'm sure there is a thread on here about having violent/evil thoughts and whether its normal, and it turns out that it seems to be. Don't hate yourself. If you can date one person, you will get another one, and maybe next time it won't be so disappointing?
     
  3. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and friendship, Crashland. I think the speed at which someone "get's over" a previous relationship is more a reflection of them then you. Some people just live their lives bouncing from one relationship to the next, forgetting their exes before the pillow is even cool. That's not a reflection on you. Hang in there, Crash, and know that you have a friend in me. :console:
     
  4. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Yes , hang around here awhile. It's a good place to get support and encouragement
     
  5. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    What do you hate about yourself specifically?

    I am asking because I want to understand is it more that you feel others don't appreciate you, or you yourself aren't happy with the person you are. I would like to know more and talk.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2011
  6. Severijn

    Severijn Well-Known Member

    Hey Crashland.

    Hating yourself sounds like a self-esteem issue to me. I really struggled with self-esteem when I was young, when I would be super-critical of myself. But throughout the years things have changed quite a bit.

    To change these negative thoughts, you could think about doing CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). The basically involves helping you think in new ways about the world and about yourself.

    Also, just reading a couple of self-help books can help. Your local bookstore probably has a self-help section. Perhaps they have some good books about changing your self-esteem. Going through life hating yourself is really to heave a burden, so please seek out some professional help.
     
  7. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    There's always a time in our life when we think that nothing turns out right but hating yourself because of those circumstances will not solve anything. Relationships are very hard to manage but romantic relationships are even worse. I think you shouldn't think about things like that for a while and just focus on your self. Look for something positive and beautiful in your life and in your self, even the little things :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2011
  8. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Hi MorganaNever,

    my main issue is having chosen this person. When it was all going well I felt OK. Now that they are so obviously and easily over it, I feel I had degraded myself when choosing such an undeserving partner. I regret every second of the relationship. I don't give a toss about their appreciation, whatsoever.

    Thanks for your kind interest, though :)
     
  9. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Hi MorganaNever,

    my main issue is having chosen this person. When it was all going well I felt OK. Now that they are so obviously and easily over it, I feel I had degraded myself when choosing such an undeserving partner. I regret every second of the relationship. I don't give a toss about their appreciation, whatsoever.

    Thanks for your kind interest, though :)
     
  10. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Cheers Severijn,

    it is really funny because I actually despise most people. I still probably do have low self esteem but sadly, others' good opinion on me does not help as I feel like spitting on most people.

    (Please don't get me wrong. I know this is an unhealthy view, people are much nicer than I could ever imagine and I'm really grateful for anyone's input on this forum so what I'm saying does NOT apply to anyone here, it's just my general - and rather sick, I know - view of humanity).

    What I'm trying to say is that I have a rather high opinion on myself. I hate myself for not being able to express myself, assert myself, choose the right partner, get the best out of me etc.
     
  11. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Cheers Severijn,

    it is really funny because I actually despise most people. I still probably do have low self esteem but sadly, others' good opinion on me does not help as I feel like spitting on most people.

    (Please don't get me wrong. I know this is an unhealthy view, people are much nicer than I could ever imagine and I'm really grateful for anyone's input on this forum so what I'm saying does NOT apply to anyone here, it's just my general - and rather sick, I know - view of humanity).

    What I'm trying to say is that I have a rather high opinion on myself. I hate myself for not being able to express myself, assert myself, choose the right partner, get the best out of me etc.
     
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