I hate people ><...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ItThing, Jun 6, 2008.

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  1. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I want to tell my parents that their presence opresses me, that I'd much rather be alone and that I only have some friends now so that having to be cooped up in school all day doesn't drive me crazy. But I NEVER talk about my feelings to my parents, because the chance is ZERO that they will feel the same way so it's not like they can understand or emphathize. Sure they raised me but I don't feel like I owe them any peek into my mind. I'm so confused, being in public can make me feel better sometimes but otherwise I just get frustrated. My people skills are getting better (don't ask me how, I don't know what it is) but I still feel frustrated and confused about people and sometimes I just want my parents to get the fuck out of the house so I can be myself with no one watching. I don't get lonely at all! Tommorrow they're going on vacation and can't get someone to stay with me for the first night. I've never had a building all to myself for more than a few hours. I want to try it. I love being alone. I turn off all the lights and stand around for half an hour feeling my sight increase. Than I play my violin or something. I know I have no self control, that it will be a huge effort to finish any homework if they leave me alone, but I find that only bothers me when I'm NOT alone. I am NOT like other people, so why the fuck do they want me to be. I spent 16 years feeling alone and I've lost emotional attachments to almost everyone.
    MAY I ACTUALLY BE ALONE NOW?!
     
  2. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    Yeap, I remember when I got my first own room away from the family. It was not a room, it was a little private heaven on 10 square metres... :smile:

    Maybe you too should try to get one as soon as you can.
     
  3. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    For me being alone is good sometimes but being alone chronically...it gets old real fast. But i dont hate people
     
  4. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Well I guess I'm sort of in between, I wish I could control when I was around people, I don't want to be antisocial, but I need my few hours of isolation a day. I mean how can a person with a social disorder be expected to be with peers all day in school and with family all evening at home?
    Thanks though, now I don't feel like a freak :).
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know exactly what your talking about. I have been isolating for fourteen years. I have no trust in myfellow human beings. Now my dog, he loves me and I love him.
    My therapist has me coming out of the house more. And I am driving myself to therapy now. I also go to the grocery store by my self. The one thing that bothers the s--- out of me is now that I am showing an effort my family is pushing me to go further, and go to the beach or one of the parks. I'm not ready for that. I just smile at them and totally ignore them. My therapist tells me she is proud of me because I am getting out and now I am starting to stand up for myself.
    When I go out I zero in on where I am going and I haul ass to get there. You couldn't get me to leave my bedroom a year ago. I read or, watch T.V. or play on the computer, Or play video games. I have my own little world set up in my room. Well enough of my rambling on. I hope you get some help. Beleive me it makes a big difference. Stay Strong::chopper:
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know exactly what your talking about. I have been isolating for fourteen years. I have no trust in myfellow human beings. Now my dog, he loves me and I love him.
    My therapist has me coming out of the house more. And I am driving myself to therapy now. I also go to the grocery store by my self. The one thing that bothers the s--- out of me is now that I am showing an effort my family is pushing me to go further, and go to the beach or one of the parks. I'm not ready for that. I just smile at them and totally ignore them. My therapist tells me she is proud of me because I am getting out and now I am starting to stand up for myself.
    When I go out I zero in on where I am going and I haul ass to get there. You couldn't get me to leave my bedroom a year ago. I read or, watch T.V. or play on the computer, Or play video games. I have my own little world set up in my room. Well enough of my rambling on. I hope you get some help. Beleive me it makes a big difference. Stay Strong::chopper:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2008
  7. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    People can suck. Parents can suck, but in a different way. This is not unusual. And unlike other people, if you live with parents you can't simply ignore them :(
     
  8. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    You dont hate people, you just need to be alone at the moment.
     
  9. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    Yep, and right now I am :)
     
  10. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    there are (too many) people in this world that induce "social disorders" in other people:dry: so no, its definitly not abnormal to wanna be alone
     
  11. ItThing

    ItThing Well-Known Member

    I wish I were alone, and then much of the stuff that gives me problem might go away, like jealousy and shame in my self and regret would all go away and I could go on with my life, but being with people creates problems I have trouble coping with. If only there was someone I could truly trust who would listen and understand and cheer me up. Someone I never have to apologise to just for being me, and who will help me see everything and everyone in a better light. I think the problem everyone seems to have is that very few such people exist :(.
     
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