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I hate that I care

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by meeko1004, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    I wish I didn't care so damn much about what other people thought.
    When I'm around other people, I lose my identity, I lose myself, and instantly feel compelled to mold myself to whatever is most agreeable to that other person - My own opinions become muted, and if they dislike me or view me negatively in any way, I begin to despise myself, and I cannot disagree with their judgement, so I feel like crap.
    I just think that so much of my problems would be solved if I just didn't give a sh-t.

    *sigh* I'm so tired. I really am. this is really exhausting.

    why is change so f-cking hard?
  2. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    I don't understand myself and I am just so angry at myself.
    Ugh. I can't stand staying in my own skin....
  3. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    I was pretty much like you. I changed but I don't recomend having to go through what I went through in order to change. :p

    I'm still very shy but I just recognize that being a people pleaser is a dead end because the most important thing is to be yourself and that is hard enough to even figure out who you are in the first place. Infact now I'm just the opposite: totally stuck in my head. I'm a person of extremes pretty much.

    Don't hate yourself please! Shy people are the nicest, kindest people. :p Anyone who is not a bit shy is totally boring to me. You can still be yourself, you don't have to change who you are just have to *really* be who you are... If that makes any sense.
  4. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    What made you change, if you don't mind me asking?
  5. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Severe "bullying" is what they call it. I call it a rude awakening. :p

    I just came to the realization that you have to be who you are, not for people, not even with people, but by and large, almost exclusively, against people.
  6. meeko1004

    meeko1004 Well-Known Member

    I don't what it would take for me to reach the same epiphany...
  7. seekinghope

    seekinghope Member

    I used to have a major lack of self-esteem, but I conquered it with time, so there is plenty of hope for you, although I know it doesn't feel that way.
    One thing I believe really helped me was the realization that the people around me are not as confident as I thought. Conformity is one of the most important aspects of any human society, and most people just go with the crowd, depending on the judgment of others instead of their own. This is evident with everything from fashion trends to political parties. So if you doubt yourself because of what others think, remember: so does everyone else.
  8. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2011
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Don't give into the anger because in the long run it will make you spiteful and you may develop hatred. I went from one side of the spectrum to the other. I was really kind and introverted and then I became hateful, spiteful, selfish, etc.
    Now I'm trying to be who I was at first, my true self. But now I can understand more and have some life experience.
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