I wish I didn't care so damn much about what other people thought. When I'm around other people, I lose my identity, I lose myself, and instantly feel compelled to mold myself to whatever is most agreeable to that other person - My own opinions become muted, and if they dislike me or view me negatively in any way, I begin to despise myself, and I cannot disagree with their judgement, so I feel like crap. I just think that so much of my problems would be solved if I just didn't give a sh-t. *sigh* I'm so tired. I really am. this is really exhausting. why is change so f-cking hard?