I hate them sooo much *might b triggerin!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Rachael41, Jul 7, 2008.

  1. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    i never thought i could hate someone so much? i trusted thse people and they betrayed me? how could they do that?

    iv staarted cuttin myself again. and its because of them............i have no sense of control? wen im pissed i just get this urge to slash my arm!
    I even took one of my kitchen knives and hid it in my drawers, so i can cut wenever i need to..........................which is all the time..

    I have disliked people before even hated them, but iv never DESPISED someone and actually wanted them dead...i dont care if thats nasty..i wish they could feel the pain i feel..

    I hate myself for being weak and not bein strong enough to end this fuckin worthless life...i deserve to die.....and i hope they knwo that i hated them wen i did it!

    bitches........both of them, i hate them more than anything in this life....i wish i could go to sleep and never wake up,
    they make me hurt myself, its like they triggered it....i was fine and then since they hurt me, iv wanted to rip my fuckin arm open every single day...iv started settin my alarm 2 get up and cut myself during the night wen my mum and dad are asleep! and god does it feel sooo goodl.
    How can somethiing so stupid b the only thiing that makes me feel?:sad:
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug: it's not stupid.. deffinitly not stupid..
    well it may be, but i know how you feel.

    i have that exact same thing...
    cutting is a good feeling..

    but its bad..

    PM me if you need any help.

    The only thing I can say here, is try not to let anything else bother you. Keep yourself safe. And think of someone you could call if you need to talk to someone, to help you not cut.


  3. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    thanx :) i have someone who i can talk to, but sometimes i even feel awkwrd talkin 2 him, eventhough he knows all about ma feelings
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    what would that do?

    you are not weak for not ending your life. I think that makes you strong. You are strong because you are still here with us :hug:
    You definitely do not deserve to die!!

    I realize you've been hurt, but no one can make you hurt yourself.

    I hope that you can find a way to make sense of whatever happened. Hope you feel better. :arms:
  5. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    you shouldn't feel akward.. it might be hard, but just know that he obviously cares. He probably wants to be there for you.. So let him. and you don't even have to talk about whats bothering you, just talk about anything to distract you.

    It really works.
  6. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    i only told him recently how i feel :( and hes been great about it, i love him 2 bits lol..hes the only thing keepin me sane,

    thanx! :biggrin: